A decade after 9/11, Pakistan inspires Hollywood for all the wrong reasons

A Femme Fatale from Waziristan?

By Laaleen Sukhera Khan

(Warning: Contains Law and Order SVU spoilers from episode 299 ‘Acceptable Loss.’ Also contains several cringe-worthy *facepalm moments).

TV’s new villain is a virginal seductress from Waziristan.

Hollywood is making efforts to humanize militants and would-be terrorists from this part of the world. A recent Stanford-NYU study might have had something to do with this: http://livingunderdrones.org/report/

Call me masochistic, but I love crime (as long as it’s within fiction). I grew up on Agatha Christie and have had more than my share of Law & Order shows, http://www.nbc.com/Law_and_Order/ whose storylines are often inspired by actual news reports. SVU marathons http://www.nbc.com/law-and-order-special-victims-unit/ sometimes make me sick to my stomach, but there’s something to be said for watching rapists and pedophiles actually get caught and dealt with in a court of law.

So when I recently watched Law and Order SVU's current season online, I was taken aback by the show’s 299^th episode, ‘Acceptable Loss.’ It started off with sex trafficking—vulnerable young immigrants from Latin America and Eastern Europe exploited by violent New York pimps into prostitution. But the show’s terrorism side plot is what really stood out; the villain was an attractive young woman in a clingy mini-dress posing as a hooker who was actually—wait for it—a gal from Waziristan out to take revenge on the drone strikes by bombing Manhattan.

The premise is admirable; American and international viewers need to know that civilians and rescues workers are being bombed side by side with suspected terrorists.  However, the rendering could have been more detailed and even more sympathetic. The character Sofia was oblivious to the plight of the sex workers surrounding her, which I find very hard to believe. Any woman would be moved to tears unless she was a madam herself! For someone with so much anger towards exploited people from the developing world dealt with injustices, she was sure thick-skinned towards her own sex.

There was interestingly no mention of ‘Pakistan’ on the show. It seems that enough people have heard of Waziristan to know where it is! And, refreshingly, not one mention of clichéd rhetoric referring to ‘jihad,’ ‘honour killing’ or ‘the war on terror.’ Finally!

According to the storyline, by some miracle, Al-Q has expanded their female recruitment http://security.blogs.cnn.com/2012/08/06/analysis-women-and-children-constitute-the-new-faces-of-terror/  beyond a so-called ‘burqa brigade’ http://www.ndtv.com/article/world/al-qaeda-s-all-female-burkha-brigade-to-hit-western-targets-285708 and enlisted the help of svelte would-be prostitutes in terrorizing NYC.

At first glance, the character Sofia seems like a Victoria’s Secret model in her form-fitting garb that highlights her limbs. You’d think she was Latina with her looks or Eastern European with her accent; she mostly gets her ‘v’s and ‘t’s right but to our ears, she still sounds a little foreign, a bit like how we’d imagine a non-American vampire.

When you think of a Muslim or Pakistani woman in popular media, she’s usually either subservient and pathetic or a strong survivor. She is often the victim of stereotypical ignorance and cruelty: either acid-blasted or in danger of being murdered by her nearest and dearest via honour killing.

The guise of a provocative hooker is at least refreshingly different, given that she’s also a victim of circumstances. Like Gotham City villains in Batman movies, Sofia has undergone a traumatizing experience that has caused her to turn dark. In her case, it’s drone attacks in Waziristan that have overturned her ethics.

Sofia is embittered by the killing of her civilian father, a doctor who rushed to aid victims of a drone strike and became a victim of a secondary ‘double-tap’

 strike himself, like thousands before him.

But hey, it’s OK—Sofia’s only pretending to be a prostitute. She’s still a virgin, of course. Because she’s Muslim and there aren’t millions spent on hymenoplasties http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8641099.stm in Saudi every year http://www.novasans.com/hymenoplasty/saudi-arabia/ .  Just like all Catholics in the world are celibate unless they’re married and never, ever get a divorce.

Sofia doesn’t bat an eyelid when women around her get exploited, beaten and raped, but she’d never get a real tattoo because she’s a good Muslim (*facepalm)! Of course, no one in the Muslim world has ever gotten a tattoo either http://www.hning.asia/2009/01/tattooed-muslim-observes-daily-prayers.html , we just stick to henna.

I asked actor Evgeniya Radilova, who played Sofia, if there was anything in the storyline that she found perplexing. “Is there anything that you’d change in hindsight, or provide as advice to the show’s writers or producers?”

Her reply: “I think that the writer for Law and Order and many other big TV Shows, Ed Zuckerman did a phenomenal job in this complex story. Unfortunately, the show is only one hour long and there is not enough time to see the whole journey of these characters. But Ed Zuckerman picks the most important moment and tells a beautiful and very meaningful story.” Read more at http://tribune.com.pk/story/462671/tvs-bond-girl-from-waziristan/

A blog post on warcosts.com states: “…The U.S. government does not officially recognize drone use by the CIA in those countries” (i.e. Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia). “Shows like SVU provide a media spotlight to expose the effects of what has happened and puts the topic on the minds of the public.” http://www.warcosts.com/law_and_order_svu_features_double_tap_procedure_of_drone_strikes  

So yes, on the one hand, we’re glad it’s finally part of popular media.

On the other hand, we wish the writers did just a little more research…like asking us!

Dialogue from 3 Key Scenes:

Characters:

Sofia (Evgeniya Radilova);

Lietenant Alexandra ‘Alex’ Eames from the City/Federal Homeland Task Force (Kathryn Erbe);

Detective Olivia ‘Liv’ Benson of the NYPD’s Manhattan Special Victims Unit (Mariska Hargitay).

CAPTURING SOFIA IN AN APARTMENT BUILDING:

Lt. Eames captures Sofia and smudges her tattoo with her saliva-laden thumb, proving it to be fake.

Lt. Eames: “Did you know that tattoos were forbidden in Islam?” (*facepalm moment). The team enters a room where a Faisal Shahzad lookalike posing as a ‘john’ (played by Shehryar ‘Shezi’ Sardar) is trying to detonate explosives. He’s knocked down and captured by Det. Nick Amaro (Danny Pino).

SOFIA’S INTERROGATION AT HOMELAND SECURITY:

Sofia: “I keep telling you, I don’t know about bombs. I was just there to have sex!” (*facepalm yet again: no woman in Pakistan would ever admit to that. She’d rather admit to bombing!).

Lt. Eames: “No. See, Sofia, we’re way past that. We can have you examined, and when we do, we’re going to find out you’re a virgin, aren’t we?” (*facepalm once more!).

Sofia: “How can a whore be a virgin!”

Det. Benson: “She can’t…It must have been awful for you, living in that house.”

Lt. Eames: “I’m sure you had a good reason. What happened to you?”

Sofia: “You know what happened to me.”

Lt. Eames: “No, I don’t. I want to understand. What happened, did it happen to you? To someone in your family? You’re from Waziristan. Which village? Don’t you think people should know? They call you a terrorist. Don’t you think they should understand? Don’t you want them to understand?”

Sofia: “My father was a doctor. A drone struck some people near where we lived. My father went to help, to tend the wounded. He was not a fighter. He was trying to save lives, stop the bleeding. And then, another drone hit. Your government targets the rescuers. It is standard policy. My father, he was blown into pieces. We buried the ones we could find.”

Det. Benson: “So you came here.”

Sofia: “This is where the drones came from.”

Det. Benson: “And you hid among girls who were being raped, who were enslaved. And you let that happen.”

Sofia: “I was sorry for them. But there are so many people to be sorry for.”

BENSON AND EAMES UNWINDING AT A BAR:

Det. Benson: “It’s a rough story about the father.”

Lt. Eames: “They all have a reason. Something.”

Det. Benson: “And that’s how you break ‘em? Get ‘em to tell their story?”

Lt. Eames: “Isn’t that how you do it?”

More storylines incorporating Pakistan:

The Last Resort

Medium: TV drama series on the ABC network, currently in its first season.

Premise: In the pilot episode, a US submarine crew takes refuge on an island after refusing to launch a nuclear missile attack on Pakistan. A later episode shows a plot twist which results in the brutal bombing of Pakistan: 2 missiles detonate, killing 8.5 million of us (shudder). The upside: we’re not the villains. Source: http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/09/homeland-vs-last-resort-the-war-we-have-vs-the-war-wed-like/262949/

SEAL Team Six: The Raid on Osama bin Laden

Medium: A documentary-style made-for-TV film containing interviews and archival footage. Produced by the Weinstein Company for the National Geographic Channel. Accused of increasing support for Obama by including presidential footage and broadcasting it two days before the presidential election.

Premise: Director John Stockwell blogs on the Daily Beast: “The movie focuses on the men and women in the intelligence community who tracked and located Osama bin Laden, the local nationals in Pakistan who assisted us at great cost to their own safety, and the highly skilled members of SEAL Team Six who brought the world’s most wanted man to justice.” http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/10/29/seal-team-6-director-my-movie-isn-t-propaganda.html 

Zero Dark Thirty

Medium: Motion picture produced by Sony Pictures and directed by producer-director Katherine Bigelow. For theatrical release in January, in time for the Oscars.

Premise: A grittier take on the gazillion dollar manhunt for the elusive OBL http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/5752/media-madness-revisiting-osamas-fortress-mansion/ .  Bigelow explains the title in an email interview with Entertainment Weekly http://insidemovies.ew.com/2012/08/06/zero-dark-thirty-first-look/ : “It’s a military term for 30 minutes after midnight, and it refers also to the darkness and secrecy that cloaked the entire decade long mission.”

Run, Katie, RUN!

RUN, KATIE, RUN!

Laaleen Sukhera Khan

It hasn’t been a very happy birthday for A-list Hollywood actor Tom Cruise, aka Thomas Cruise Mapother IV, as he turned half a century in his Beverly Hills mansion while the rest of his country prepared for Fourth of July festivities.

It’s not easy to maintain a straight face, even for an actor, when the world and it’s telephoto lenses are waiting to catch a glimpse of a wretched expression (after discovering one’s spouse has filed for divorce and sole legal custody of one’s beloved  and only biological child). 

And then there’s Katie, who’s become a worn-down shell of her previous Dawson’s Creek-era good looks and playful spirit after marrying the Hollywood posterboy of Scientology. Can’t help feel sorry for both of them despite the $250 million they’re worth together.

Prenup terms: Instead of being entitled to half of everything, Katie will only receive $3 million per year of her marriage to Tom according to the terms of their prenuptial agreement (and it’s been nearly six). Her settlement would probably split up their joint homes between them plus provide her with child support.  Now, if she’d chosen to stay married to Tom for more than 11 yrs, Katie would’ve received half of their $250 mil.  No gold-digger alert here.

Sci-fi schooling: A Roman Catholic originally from the Midwest, Katie never converted to Scientology but attended classes and had a Scientology chaperone.  So it’s not like she hasn’t tried to understand what all the fuss is about. Tom himself was introduced to the faith by his first wife, Mimi Rogers. His adopted kids with second wife Nicole Kidman had been home-schooled and raised as Scientologists.

Cruise control: Tom is considerably older than Katie and seems to be a bit of a control freak, though his attempts to rename his wife ‘Kate Cruise’ flopped. He also seems to have an overwhelmingly romantic side. Although it was kind of cool when he named one of his planes “Kiss me, Kate,” his impassioned trampoline-ing on Oprah’s couch plummeted him to public ridicule and almost cost him his career.

33, the magic number: Tom has had an average of one wife per decade, and they’ve all seemed to have split up when they reached the age of 33: first Mimi, then Nicole and now, Katie. Although Scientologist couples seem to stick together despite shady massages ala Travolta, news reports suggest that Katie ultimately freaked out and filed for divorce and sole legal custody of Suri to prevent her impending enrollment at Sea Org, a lavish, orthodox Scientology boarding school. However, a spokesperson for the institution said that children under eighteen are not permitted, and that the consent of both parents is needed for enrollment. Katie’s father, conveniently a lawyer, is a major source of support to her now, as her her newly appointed aides and bodyguards that have replaced the staff whom Tom appointed for her.

No Oscar buzz for Katie: At the time of TomKat’s initiation, it was said that Tom was on the lookout for a youngish actress to wed and that Keri Russell had been on the list too and refused. Now, while Nicole Kidman’s career had flourished as Mrs. Cruise, Katie’s tanked. She seemed to be taking the wrong kind of advice—from Tom?—and made bad decisions like refusing what would have been her second Batman movie (the iconic Heath Ledger one), appearing in the ridiculous Mad Money, appeared in guest spots on TV and (as her wisest choice in the last few years), a Broadway show. Katie became better known for her acting on the red carpet than on-screen, sometimes appearing robotic, other times morose; sometimes a fashionista, other times a gaunt marathon runner. But something was brewing, for sure, that led her to secretly rent an apartment in New York long enough to file for divorce from the state that prefers sole child custody to California, where joint custody is encouraged.

Sher Shah Suri:  An adorable, six year old, uber celeb Suri Cruise has a million dollar wardrobe and an enviable lifestyle which, according to tabloids, include her getting her own way and throwing tantrums. From high heels and kiddie Starbucks lattes (sans coffee, we hope) and late night dinners out to cupcakes galore, to clutching blankets along bare legs in chilly weather, Suri might be nearing her dad’s height but still gets carried around a lot, especially in Manhattan. She seems very devoted to both parents and, so far, has had no formal schooling other than dance classes with her mom, no bulky winter clothes, and no nanny in sight (at home is another matter). Tall for her age, she has physical similarities to both parents as well as allegedly to the founder of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, according to gossip writers who have claimed that she was his biological daughter via artificial insemination of his 80s-era sperm.  Her parents have completely different notions on how they’d like to raise her and it all centres on the controversial beliefs of Scientology, which Katie never completely adopted, besides bizarrely referring to her daughter as a “woman” in an interview (Scientologists believe in treating children like adults, hence Suri’s late nights out and…lipstick?).

What Katie Did Next: Reports indicated yesterday that Ms. Holmes filed an emergency application in New York, which means a hearing in an open court, accessible to the media and scheduled for July 17^th. Usually, celebs prefer to settle out of court, in privacy. Move over, Dawson. Katie’s playing hardball. As of today, People magazine reports that her lawyer denies this. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20609676,00.html  

Since the divorce announcement, ever-professional Tom has been hard at work filming without even changing his schedule, and Katie looks happier already. But the Battle over Suri has only just begun. And with the paps going nuts over their conspiracy theories, it seems like it could take World War proportions.

The Oscar Drama Begins: nominations, snubs, predictions & tweets

Predictions, Tweets & Snubs: It’s the Nominations for the 84th Academy Awards!

Laaleen Khan

The Oscars are a time when fans, TV anchors, stylists, live bloggers, tweeters and seat-fillers (the lucky people who sit on celeb’s seats while they’re visiting the bathroom or the bar) satellite around A-list stars in the celluloid constellation known as Hollywood. Die-hard viewers host Oscar parties at home while Hollywood’s B, C and D-listers try to attend as many after-parties as they can (since they’re naturally not invited to most awards shows). It’s fun for all, whether you’re watching the show live at the crack of dawn in Pakistan’s time zone (and heading off bleary-eyed to work), or watching the evening rerun (after spending the day valiantly avoiding internet reports of the winner). The allure of red carpet arrivals, glamorous presenters, the host’s semi-funny jokes, and, of course, watching some of your favourites win the coveted statuettes is an irresistible combination worth spending three hours of your life over (five if you sit through the early arrivals and after-party coverage too, comparable to a cricket match).

Often, a country or culture will dominates several of the categories during any given year of the Academy Awards. Previously, these have included: the New Zealander ‘Lord Of The Rings’ year, the Indian ‘Slumdog Millionnaire’ (even if it was officially British) year, the Italian ‘Life is Beautiful’ year, the Spanish ‘All About My Mother’ year and the essentially British ‘The King’s Speech’ last year. This year, it seems to be France’s turn. ‘The Artist’ has been nominated in 11 major categories except, interestingly, for Foreign Language film.

Then there’s the usual shock nominees (Jonah Hill for ‘Moneyball;’ seriously?), plenty of snubs (see below), and, finally, Pakistani subject matter that has nothing to do with terrorism (unless one calls it domestic terrorism). While ‘Saving Face’ may be criticized locally for portraying the country in a ‘negative’ light (tragically faceless survivors instead of, say, attractive starlets), one can’t help but support the need to address (and remedy) our social realities instead of sweeping them under a rug.

NOMINATION SCORE CARDS: Nominations, Predictions and What-the-heck-were-they-thinking!

Actor in a Leading Role

                  Demián Bichir in "A Better Life"

                  George Clooney in "The Descendants" (POSSIBLY; George is a dumpy, cuckolded husband with a teenaged daughter, now THAT's acting)

                  Jean Dujardin in "The Artist" (PROBABLY; Jean recreates Hollywood glamour with sparkle and charm)

                  Gary Oldman in "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy"

                  Brad Pitt in "Moneyball" (NO WAY IN HELL; Brad would’ve stood a better chance if he made himself fugly in the film)

Actor in a Supporting Role

                  Kenneth Branagh in "My Week with Marilyn" (POSSIBLY; The Academy loves Brits)

                  Jonah Hill in "Moneyball" (NO WAY IN HELL; right?)

                  Nick Nolte in "Warrior"

                  Christopher Plummer in "Beginners" (PROBABLY; Mature actors tend to win their first Oscar on behalf of their entire careers)

                  Max von Sydow in "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"

Actress in a Leading Role

                  Glenn Close in "Albert Nobbs"

                  Viola Davis in "The Help"

                  Rooney Mara in "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" (NO WAY IN HELL; Rooney’s too much of an indie oddball type)

                  Meryl Streep in "The Iron Lady" (PROBABLY; You can’t go wrong with Meryl—she already has two little gold men and this is her 17^th nomination)

                  Michelle Williams in "My Week with Marilyn" (POSSIBLY; the Academy loves biopics and we still feel bad about Heath Ledger)

Actress in a Supporting Role

                  Bérénice Bejo in "The Artist"

                  Jessica Chastain in "The Help" (POSSIBLY; a goodhearted airhead and one of the only non-racist characters in the movie)

                  Melissa McCarthy in "Bridesmaids" (NO WAY IN HELL! Plus-sized women tend to score at awards shows but, really, to win for a screwball comedy rife with toilet humour…these aren’t the ‘Gross’cars!)

                  Janet McTeer in "Albert Nobbs"

                  Octavia Spencer in "The Help" (PROBABLY)

Animated Feature Film

                  "A Cat in Paris" Alain Gagnol and Jean-Loup Felicioli (PROBABLY; It seems to be France’s year after all)

                  "Chico & Rita" Fernando Trueba and Javier Mariscal

                  "Kung Fu Panda 2" Jennifer Yuh Nelson

                  "Puss in Boots" Chris Miller

                  "Rango" Gore Verbinski (POSSIBLY; It’s Johnny Depp’s voice)

Art Direction

                  "The Artist" 
Production Design: Laurence Bennett; Set Decoration: Robert Gould (POSSIBLY; The mise-en-scene is delightful)

                  "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" 
Production Design: Stuart Craig; Set Decoration: Stephenie McMillan

                  "Hugo" 
Production Design: Dante Ferretti; Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo (PROBABLY; A great deal of artistry went in the technicalities)

                  "Midnight in Paris" 
Production Design: Anne Seibel; Set Decoration: Hélène Dubreuil

                  "War Horse" 
Production Design: Rick Carter; Set Decoration: Lee Sandales

Cinematography

                  "The Artist" Guillaume Schiffman

                  "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Jeff Cronenweth

                  "Hugo" Robert Richardson

                  "The Tree of Life" Emmanuel Lubezki (POSSIBLY; Plenty of dreamy imagery in Terence Malick’s film)

                  "War Horse" Janusz Kaminski (PROBABLY; Spielberg’s cinematic tear-jerker in with a war backdrop guarantees pictorial splendour)

Costume Design

                  "Anonymous" Lisy Christl

                  "The Artist" Mark Bridges

                  "Hugo" Sandy Powell

                  "Jane Eyre" Michael O'Connor (POSSIBLY; Hollywood loves adaptations, remakes and Victorian England)

                  "W.E." Arianne Phillips (PROBABLY; For Madonna’s sake!)

Directing

                  "The Artist" Michel Hazanavicius (PROBABLY; Creating a silent, pre-‘Talkie’ world was no easy task)

                  "The Descendants" Alexander Payne (POSSIBLY; Tricky subject matter to direct)

                  "Hugo" Martin Scorsese

                  "Midnight in Paris" Woody Allen

                  "The Tree of Life" Terrence Malick

Documentary (Feature)

                  "Hell and Back Again" 
Danfung Dennis and Mike Lerner

                  "If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front" 
Marshall Curry and Sam Cullman

                  "Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory" 
Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky

                  "Pina" 
Wim Wenders and Gian-Piero Ringel (PROBABLY; It’s also the first 3-D documentary to be nominated)

                  "Undefeated" 
TJ Martin, Dan Lindsay and Richard Middlemas

Documentary (Short Subject)

                  "The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement" 
Robin Fryday and Gail Dolgin

                  "God Is the Bigger Elvis" 
Rebecca Cammisa and Julie Anderson

                  "Incident in New Baghdad" 
James Spione

                  "Saving Face" 
Daniel Junge and Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy (WE HOPE SO!)

                  "The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom" 
Lucy Walker and Kira Carstensen

Film Editing

                  "The Artist" Anne-Sophie Bion and Michel Hazanavicius

                  "The Descendants" Kevin Tent

                  "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall (PROBABLY; It’s has that rare combination of a fast pace and critical acclaim, so it’s likely to win something)

                  "Hugo" Thelma Schoonmaker

                  "Moneyball" Christopher Tellefsen

Foreign Language Film

                  "Bullhead" Belgium

                  "Footnote" Israel

                  "In Darkness" Poland

                  "Monsieur Lazhar" Canada

                  "A Separation" Iran (PROBABLY; This Golden Globe winner is also Iran’s second nomination in this category to date)

Makeup

                  "Albert Nobbs"
Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnston and Matthew W. Mungle (POSSIBLY; Glenn Close as a creepy dude required subtle makeup)

                  "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" 
Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight and Lisa Tomblin

                  "The Iron Lady" 
Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland (PROBABLY; Meryl Streep’s convincing makeover as Maggie Thatcher owed something to the makeup department)

Music (Original Score)

                  "The Adventures of Tintin" John Williams

                  "The Artist" Ludovic Bource (PROBABLY; It’s a mostly silent film so music played a primary role in the narrative)

                  "Hugo" Howard Shore

                  "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" Alberto Iglesias

                  "War Horse" John Williams

Music (Original Song)

                  "Man or Muppet" from "The Muppets"
Music and Lyric by Bret McKenzie (PROBABLY; And with two nominations in this category instead of the typical five, the Oscars might even end on time for once with fewer musical performances)

                  "Real in Rio" from "Rio"
Music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown; Lyric by Siedah Garrett

Best Picture

                  "The Artist" Thomas Langmann, Producer (PROBABLY)

                  "The Descendants" Jim Burke, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor, Producers (POSSIBLY)

                  "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" Scott Rudin, Producer

                  "The Help" Brunson Green, Chris Columbus and Michael Barnathan, Producers

                  "Hugo" Graham King and Martin Scorsese, Producers (POSSIBLY)

                  "Midnight in Paris" Letty Aronson and Stephen Tenenbaum, Producers

                  "Moneyball" Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz and Brad Pitt, Producers

                  "The Tree of Life" Nominees to be determined

                  "War Horse" Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, Producers (their 7^th nomination as Producers)

Short Film (Animated)

                  "Dimanche/Sunday" Patrick Doyon

                  "The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore" William Joyce and Brandon Oldenburg

                  "La Luna" Enrico Casarosa

                  "A Morning Stroll" Grant Orchard and Sue Goffe

                  "Wild Life" Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby

Short Film (Live Action)

                  "Pentecost" Peter McDonald and Eimear O'Kane

                  "Raju" Max Zähle and Stefan Gieren

                  "The Shore" Terry George and Oorlagh George

                  "Time Freak" Andrew Bowler and Gigi Causey

                  "Tuba Atlantic" Hallvar Witzø

Sound Editing

                  "Drive" Lon Bender and Victor Ray Ennis

                  "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Ren Klyce

                  "Hugo" Philip Stockton and Eugene Gearty

                  "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" Ethan Van der Ryn and Erik Aadahl

                  "War Horse" Richard Hymns and Gary Rydstrom (PROBABLY; It’s gotta win something)

Sound Mixing

                  "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" 
David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Bo Persson

                  "Hugo" 
Tom Fleischman and John Midgley

                  "Moneyball" 
Deb Adair, Ron Bochar, Dave Giammarco and Ed Novick

                  "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" 
Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush and Peter J. Devlin (PROBABLY; High-grossing action flicks often get lucky in sound categories)

                  "War Horse" 
Gary Rydstrom, Andy Nelson, Tom Johnson and Stuart Wilson

Visual Effects

                  "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" 
Tim Burke, David Vickery, Greg Butler and John Richardson (POSSIBLY; If only to say goodbye to Potter)

                  "Hugo" 
Rob Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossman and Alex Henning (PROBABLY; The films has astounding aesthetics)

                  "Real Steel" 
Erik Nash, John Rosengrant, Dan Taylor and Swen Gillberg

                  "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" 
Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, R. Christopher White and Daniel Barrett

                  "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" 
Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Matthew Butler and John Frazier

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

                  "The Descendants" Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash (PROBABLY; The film’s premise and storyline are a critical success)

                  "Hugo" Screenplay by John Logan

                  "The Ides of March" Screenplay by George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon (POSSIBLY; Clooney proves to be as adept a writer as he is an actor and director)

                  "Moneyball" Screenplay by Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin; Story by Stan Chervin

                  "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" Screenplay by Bridget O'Connor & Peter Straughan

Writing (Original Screenplay)

                  "The Artist" Written by Michel Hazanavicius (PROBABLY; It’s an original, and it’s definitely tricky to ‘write’ a ‘silent’ script)

                  "Bridesmaids" Written by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig (NO WAY IN HELL! Right?)

                  "Margin Call" Written by J.C. Chandor

                  "Midnight in Paris" Written by Woody Allen

                  "A Separation" Written by Asghar Farhadi (POSSIBLY; It’s the first Farsi screenplay to ever be nominated)

SNUB-O-RAMA: And the year’s biggest snubs went to…

Leading men:

·      Leo di Caprio (snubbed, yet again, but he’s used to it now. After three nominations, he still hasn’t taken home a little gold man, just models);

·      Michael Fassbender (was his full frontal nudity in ‘Shame’ too much for the Academy to endure?);

·      Ryan Gosling (aka ‘the hipster’s hipster’ for ‘The Ides of March’ and ‘Drive’);

·      Antonio Banderas (for ‘Puss in Boots’…joking! For his performance in ‘The Skin I Live In’).

Leading ladies:

·      Kristen Dunst (she won Best Actress at Cannes for her morose sci-fi film, ‘Melancholia’);

·      Elizabeth Olsen (indie darling and breakout star of ‘Martha Macy May’ and sister of the most annoying twins in the world)

·      Charlize Theron, Kate Winslet, Natalie Portman, Tilda Swinton and Hilary Swank (for…well, anything they ever star in, especially if their characters are depraved, unattractive and/or insane. Jilted by the Academy this time!)

Supporting actors:

·      Uggie (for his convincing canine portrayal in ‘The Artist’…just kidding!)

Madonna, Madonna, Madonna:

·      ‘W.E.’ looks visually arresting but there are way too many liberties taken with reality to lure the Academy (Wallis wasn’t a Nazi sympathizer? Really?). But the film stands a good chance in its sole nomination, for Costume Design.

In the Land of Blood and Money:

·      The Academy didn’t nominate Angie’s Bosnian ‘In The Land of Blood and Honey’ in the Foreign Language category. Never mind, she’ll still be smiling on Brad’s arm after winning the Stanley Kramer Award at the recent PGAs.

TWEET FEST: A selection of Twitter’s most (and least) chirpy…

·      Touching tweet (she’s nominated for Documentary—Short Subject):

@sharmeenochinoy: “The day I received an Emmy my father died- had to turn around & go 2 airport- Tday I'm sure hes smiling down! #oscars #SavingFace”

·      Euphoric tweet (the ‘How I Met Your Mother’ TV star’s song for ‘The Muppets’ is nominated for Music—Original Song):

@jasonsegel: “Holy Moly! Man or Muppet was nominated for a best song Oscar! Congrats to Bret McKenzie and the whole Muppet team!!! So happy for everyone!” 

·      Sore (no music nomination for R&B singer Mary J. Blige’s song from ‘The Help’):

@maryjblige: “I'm so thankful for true fans like you all. It saddens me & feels like the Academy is being mean. 2 only nominate 2 of the 5 slots is.......”

·      Sarcastic (no acting nomination for Albert Brooks’ critically acclaimed ‘Drive’):

@albertbrooks: “Looking forward to the State of the Union tonight. Hope the new Axis of Evil includes Hollywood.”

ADDITIONAL INFO: From Oscars.org’s official press kit

·      Nominations ballots were mailed to the 5,783 voting members in late December and were returned directly to PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC), the international accounting firm, for tabulation.

·      Official screenings of all motion pictures with one or more nominations will begin for members this weekend at the Academy's Samuel Goldwyn Theater. Screenings also will be held at the Academy's Linwood Dunn Theater in Hollywood and in London, New York and the San Francisco Bay Area.

·      All active and life members of the Academy are eligible to select the winners in all categories, although in five of them – Animated Short Film, Live Action Short Film, Documentary Feature, Documentary Short Subject and Foreign Language Film – members can vote only if they have seen all of the nominated films in those categories.

·      Academy Awards for outstanding film achievements of 2011 will be presented on Sunday, February 26, 2012, at the Kodak Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center®, and televised live by the ABC Television Network beginning at 4 p.m. PT/7 p.m. ET (that’s 5 a.m. in Pakistan time on February 27).  The Oscar presentation also will be televised live in more than 225 countries worldwide.