Local-Shocal: Everyday Gaffes

Everyday Gaffes

Widespread ‘typos’ in our daily lives are usually ignored; we’ve either stopped noticing them or we’ve already adopted them in our own speech. When you do keep noticing, you can either go around correcting people like an English teacher (and be detested for it) or post it on your blog (and get disapproving comments—oh well!).

Take the following paragraph:

“My hairs are very dry in the winters and I trim them with a scissor. I’ve been eating buttery popcorns at the women committee, where I wore red pant with black boot. They served Hi Tea and we enjoyed. My friends are social, from elite class. My children were having tution so I was free to get blowdry at beautyparlors saloon. I wore a couture dress straight off the ramp, made from choffone stuff to the danceparty and added a spritz of my new cologne.”

If that looked OK to you, then you might want to continue reading a sampling of common grammatical/punctuation/terminology blunders or, simply, words that have been culturally adapted to express alternative meanings within our social context.

PERPLEXING PLURALS:

Winters

Incorrect: There are many weddings held in the winters.

Correct: There are many weddings held in the winter.

Hairs

Incorrect: My hairs are thick and glossy. 

Correct: My hair is thick and glossy.

Popcorns

Incorrect: I like eating popcorns.

Correct: I like eating popcorn.

Women

Incorrect: Women wing. Women bank.

Correct: Women’s wing. Women’s bank.

Boot

Incorrect: The boot.

Correct: Boots.

Pant

Incorrect: Wide legged pant.

Correct: Wide legged pants.

Scissor

Incorrect: May I borrow a scissor?

Correct: May I borrow a pair of scissors?

SILLY SPELLINGS:

Hi Tea

Incorrect: The Hi-Tea was delicious.

Correct: The high tea was delicious.

Tution

Incorrect: Tution centre.

Correct: Tuition centre.

GOOFY GRAMMAR:

Having

Incorrect: She is having a degree in sociology.

Correct: She has a degree in sociology.

Enjoy

Incorrect: We enjoyed.

Correct: We enjoyed ourselves.

Social

Incorrect: She is social.

Correct: She is a socialite.

LOCAL-SHOCAL TERMINOLOGY:

Ramp

Local context: Fashion catwalk/runway.

Otherwise: Inclined floors for the disabled.

Committee

Local context: Regular women’s gathering for a money pool mingled with hosted entertainment.

Otherwise: A group of people working together for a specific purpose.

Couture

Local context: Any clothes that aren’t mass-produced.

Otherwise: High-end fashion produced by a select group of high end fashion houses that fulfill specific criteria to be designated couturiers.

Dress

Local context: Kameez.

Otherwise: Kids and women’s dresses and gowns.

Frock

Local context: Dress.

Otherwise: A dress or coat that usually billows out from the waist (‘party frock,’ ‘frock-coat’).

Stuff

Local context: Fabric.

Otherwise: Slang for ‘things.’

Choffone

Local context: An example of ‘stuff.’

Otherwise: Chiffon.

Elite Class

Local context: Anybody who can speak English.

Otherwise: The world’s most privileged billionaires and aristocrats.

Danceparty (morphed into 1 word)

Local context: A party where there’s a dance floor.

Otherwise: A party with dancing.

Beautyparlour (morphed into 1 word)

Local context: A beauty parlour.

Otherwise: A salon.

Saloon

Local context: A salon.

Otherwise: A wild west bar.

GENDER BENDERS:

Men’s Perfume, Women’s Cologne

When shopping for perfume or cologne, you might want to specify gender; otherwise you might be given a selection of perfume for men and cologne for women.