Crystal-encrusted potato sacks for Eid?

 Several years ago, when I first moved to Islamabad, there were barely any boutiques for buying local or countrywide designer womenswear. Residents pre-planned their shopping, some venturing to Lahore and others braving the darzi route.  Since then, several largish multibrand boutiques thankfully sprung up across the capital, featuring the part-inspired, part-cookie-cutter work of dozens and dozens of designers with similar names who range from trained professionals to bored housewives.

Over the last few seasons, I’ve often found some pretty clothes here and there, so when I ventured out shopping yesterday on the lookout for an Eid-appropriate outfit, I expected to enjoy browsing through clothing racks. Instead, the search was nothing short of a caffeine-deprived nightmare: hideously large crystals on chikan, animal prints with fussy Aunty-style details, and radiant colours made mundane with maternity cuts.  

Now, people pay tens of thousands to look like gift-wrapped mithai boxes on certain occasions (and I’ve voluntarily done it too) but I frankly couldn’t stomach it this time; all I’d wanted was a reasonably chic outfit with clean lines and a flattering cut. Is there anyone else who’s sick of OTT embroidery and sweeping shirts that do the work of jharoos when you walk (not to mention stumbling on the stairs)?

Instead of retail therapy, I experienced retail frustration. Here’s why:

Boxy cuts galore: They say the camera adds 15 lbs but that’s nothing compared with the bulk enhancing cuts that seem to be doing very well judging from their mass production.

Discrepancies in sizes: No, it’s not you’re imagination. You may be a size XS according to one designer’s label and a size XL according to another because designers pretty much use their own bodies (or their Best Gal Pals in the case of male designers) for sizes. So next time it’d frankly be easier to try on clothes designed by someone similar to your body type: petite/Amazonian/lollipop/beanpole/pear-shaped/apple-shaped.

Taking separates to a whole other level: While I’m a big fan of buying separates, the concept also seems to include selling a completely sheer kurta without an accompanying camisole at the price of an entire outfit. It’s a pain trying to match what to wear underneath (and if it has slits, it’s double the bother avoiding the peek-a-boo aspect).  You just end up feeling hot and uncomfortable with all the layering. Why bother!

Pray for better Pret: Disappointing cheaper designer lines may sometimes feature inferior quality and styles, a far cry from their 6-digit couture namesakes.

Ultra-prudish schoolmarm styles: Unnecessarily high necklines and itchingly long sleeves increase one’s suffering in the sweltering heat. Beware when buying so-called ‘sleeveless’ shirts too—some of them have such small, pseudo-conservative armholes that they dig into your underarms.

Unrealistically slinky daytime styles: Seriously, isn’t half the reason you’re buying a kameez so that you can wear it generally anywhere without worrying about flashing too much skin? While it may look cute in a magazine or on the runway, sexily strappy and halter style cotton kameezes are pretty ridiculous for daytime wear and a bizarre no-no for eveningwear where you’d rather dress in something edgier. Confused ‘fusion!’

Hideous crystallized logos: There is no logic to this absolutely cringe-worthy practice of garishly sparkly international designer logos embroidered on the bodices of local ‘designer’ kameezes. Spotted: intertwined Chanel-style C’s in Islamabad and LVs in Lahore…ugh! Seriously, what were they thinking?

Familiar market prints and strips of embroidery: When a price tag’s hefty, why would you want to buy an outfit using material commonly sourced from an ordinary market, not to mention strips of embroidery available at commercial button & ribbon shops and pretty much just stitched on? Even truck-arty and pop-arty styles become to look monotonous after seeing them incessantly in print, broadcast and digital media for the past couple of years. 

Lipstick and foundation smudges: Just when you find an outfit that’s seriously pretty, only to notice residual makeup and whiffs of perfume smeared on its neckline, one cant help but wonder if it’s from the person who tried it on before you or if it’s straight off the sweaty runway.

Power failures and loud generators: Shopping is supposed to be a pleasurable experience where your senses are heightened by upbeat music and a comfortable temperature, prompting you to spend more money. Generators (or a lack of) and bad music help kill the mood.

...If you’re wondering if I found anything,I bought the first outfit I could find with a neckline comfortable enough to breathe in, without an iota of embroidery, and with a cut that didn’t require the quantity of material used to make curtains. 

Follow @laaleen on Twitter and on Facebook at “laaleenspage” https://www.facebook.com/laaleenspage

2011's fashion trends: here to stay or totally passe'?

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/9646/fashion-2011-here-to-stay-or-totally-passe/

2011’s Trends:

Here to Stay or Totally Passé?

Laaleen Khan

It was a year of ups (PTI’s rockin’ rallies that brightened our jaded palates) and downs (where do we start? the Dengue epidemic; the misery of gas and electricity shortages). The year saw international change (the youthful, high-tech Arab Spring modernized the word ‘revolution’) and tacky commercial publicity stunts (we’re used to seeing near-naked Bollywood starlets grace our screens, but Veena in her birthday suit was a novelty across the border). We were jolted by the demise of larger-than-life personalities like Elizabeth Taylor, Steve Jobs and the infamous Mr. Bin Laden. And from the glitzy pinnacle of the Royal Wedding down to the fall of the Murdochian empire and unprecedented urban riots, the city of London experienced a roller coaster ride of it’s own.

The world of fashion saw John Galliano’s disgrace from Dior and Sarah Burton’s meteoric rise at Alexander McQueen. Here in Pakistan, everybody and their neighbours seemed to jump onto the lawn bandwagon, resulting in a frenzied exhibition pandemic. In the meantime, couturiers have doubled and even trebled their prices from preceding years, while ready-to-wear labels struggle to remain competitively priced.

While some of this past year’s fashion trends were aesthetically innovative, others seemed like regurgitated relics from the past. And then there were those that never caught on in Pakistan in the first place.

Here’s a look back at 2011, the year in style:

Here for now:

·      PLAYFUL BAGS: Crossbody bags, statement clutches, carryalls with discreet logos, wristlet party bags, colour blocking and (both faux and genuine) snakeskin.

·      BODY-CON CUTS: Last year’s maternity gowns have been replaced by a more body-conscious A-line gown style, while mullet hemlines that are shorter in the front are a smart alternative to trailing, bedraggled hemlines.

·      HIGH WAISTLINES: The opposite of low-waisted bum-skimming jeans, their ladylike high waisted versions come in skinny or wide legged 40s styles.

·      60s MOD: Retro colour blocking was on international runways and the highstreets. Domestically, it featured rominently in Kamiar Rokni’s reasonably priced ready-to-wear shifts and wraparound dresses (unfortunately without the funky runway leggings).

·      90s MATERIALS: From wedding gowns to sleeves, backs and bodices, lace has made a huge comeback. Net is also big this season. Comebacks from the nineties are great as long as they don’t include atrocious organza.

·      SIDESWEPT HAIR: The perennial poker straight look has finally been replaced by dramatic side parts, with large tongs used to create soft waves, or hair loosely braided over one shoulder. This parting is ‘hair’ to stay, even though salons tend to translate the soft, wavy look into a stiff, hairsprayed version.

·      MATTE EMBROIDERY: Sophisticated, intricate embroidery on everything from lawn to silk makes Swarovskis and ganga-jamna threadwork seem overdone, especially in the summer.

Here to stay:

·      LUXE FOR LESS: Recessionistas glimmer in faux jewelry made of semiprecious gems and Swarovskis in gold plated settings. Designer-labeled highstreet brands (Missoni for Target, Versace for H&M), are also here to stay (at least until the global economy improves) and sell out within hours.

·      RICH COLOURS: Coral, emerald, antique gold, purple; we use every colour in the rainbow anyway so the colours of the year were no biggie here.

·      GRAPHIC PATTERNS: In a country where florals and paisleys run havoc among textile designs, trends like polka dots and horizontal stripes are just not as eye catching as they are in most foreign countries.

·      LIPS THAT POP: Pigment-rich fuchsia and scarlet shades defeated the perpetual nude shades, enhanced with lip venom (or collagen) when needed.

·      STATEMENT PIECES: Whether it’s an oversized clutch, or shoes that intentionally clash with the rest of your outfit, or separates in different textures, distinctive looks may be achieved in various ways.

·      PLATFORM PUMPS: These 4 (and beyond)-inchers remained super hot on the shelves and the red carpet, particularly the patent beige variety favoured by Duchess Kate (and her LK Bennet faves). She’s also helped bring lower heels in fashion for women under 60 (phew).

·      HEAVY LINER: Kate Middleton (once again), Elizabeth Hurley, Chanel’s ‘Paris to Bombay’ themed Metiers D’Art fashion show, have all brought our kind of dramatic black eyeliner in fashion but here, it’ll never go out of style.

·      TUNICS: Now that we’ve sampled the practicalities of wearing outfits long enough to cover our derrières so we can get away with skimpier lowers, we aren’t going to give them up very easily (or are we?).

·      HAIR EXTENSIONS: These are painstaking, yet convenient means of adding length and volume to tired tresses, or a dash of pizzazz (pink extensions, anyone?).

·      TAILORED COATS: The addition of coats as an alternative to meager cardigans and voluminous shawls are a long awaited necessity to the Pakistani fashion scene.

·      FULL SLEEVES: There’s definite long-term potential for full sleeves, particularly for winter collections.

Lukewarm but thriving:

·      Skinny jeans.

·      Stretchy churidars.

·      Leggings and jeggings.

·      Ballet flats.

·      Elbow length sleeves.

·      Goth nails.

·      Gaga shoulders.

·      Sequins.

·      Batwing sleeves.

Re-returning (or did they ever leave?):

·      Caftans.

·      Knee-high boots.

·      Bangs.

·      Pearls.

·      Stilettos.

·      Cheetah prints.

·      Wedge heels.

Passé (RIP):

·      Jumpsuits (stop making them already, they were in fashion over 3 years ago).

·      Boxy kurtas (universally unflattering).

·      Halters (especially in the winter!).

·      Mutton sleeves (schoolmarmish).

·      The Pob (Posh Bob, i.e. Victoria ‘Posh Spice’ Beckam’s angled bob).

·      Gladiators (and it’s about time).

·      Thigh-high boots.

Alien to Pk (for mostly obvious reasons):

·      Exposed zippers.

·      Bodysuits.

·      Bandage dresses.

·      Fedoras.

·      Single thigh-high slit in long gowns.

·      Metallic fabric.

·      Cutouts in body-con dresses.

·      Fur gilets.

·      Surfer-girl bed-hair.

·      Loose chignons.

·      Short shorts.

Trend Alert for 2012:

·      Shorter hemlines.

·      Mary Jane heels & lace-up heels.

·      70s style kick-flare jeans.

·      40s glamour.

·      Cropped tops.

·      More body-con variations.

·      Your guess is as good as mine!

Intro to Marketing Pakistan

Intro to Marketing Pakistan

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/7266/marketing-pakistan-know-your-product/

On the one hand, it seems that Pakistan doesn’t have much to offer travelers these days with the exception of expats visiting their families, Lonely Planet reading backpackers, Sikh pilgrims and cricket-mad Indians—many of whom have waned from the ‘insecurity’ situation. Then, on the other hand, the ‘Ministry of Marketing’ (let us suppose that one exists) has plenty of underutilised fodder to attract positive international interest, if only they would.

From an ancient civilization that’s older than the Pyramids (the Indus Valley along with Buddhist and Gandhara aren’t adequately promoted like the Mughals as they’re pre-Islamic), historical architecture (including pre-Partition buildings that have since dwindled into shoddy government offices and low-grade, paan-spittled apartments) and a rich, evolving ‘Popculturistan’ (that’s under attack by the conservative majority unfamiliar with the concepts of subcultures, postmodernism and organized tourism) we have much to offer:

Fashion: Pakistani bridal couture isn’t big beyond South Asia and expat communities, one but the rest have the potential to cross over: think elephant-god t-shirts from India and Arab scarf accessories from the Middle East that all made it to mainstream fashion channels. So too can ours; a pop cultural mix of indigenous customs and tongue-in-cheek humour works on the large scale.

Market kitsch: Truck art (Gulabo and followers), Lollywood art (Hot Spot’s Lollywood parodies, Uth Oye and other quirky T-shirts), Urdu and Punjabi calligraphy bags (though it is highly doubtful that Bulley Shah’s descendants will get royalties from the latter) all need Saks, Bloomingdales and Selfridges to show an interest.

Music: The universal language that goes beyond all kinds of barriers and Pakistan does very, very well. From folk to Sufi to rock and now hip hop (i.e. Adil Omar’s catchy Off The Handle and the upcoming Paki Rambo; our fingers are crossed for his future Grammy nomination), every music item that is released, written, blogged or tweeted, always surprised a sizeable number on the other side of the world, who begin to acknowledge that music in Pakistan is “bigger than Bin Laden” (Alan Cross, music writer from ExploreMusic.com at http://exploremusic.com/enlightenment/and-the-most-influential-rock-star-in-pakistan-is/#comment-39216 )

Sardonic statements by musicians make a smarter impression than, say Korean Bieber-wannabes. Ali Azmat’s Bum Phatta (as in bomb exploding, not a rear end) is a great example of this—a witty take on the current plight of the country with a terrific music video.

Now, if only we could provide the security needed for international performers to hold concerts here, not to mention preventing a blatant infringement of intellectual copyright laws so that they have a sales incentive to include Pakistan on their tours…

Food: We may not have any Michelin starred restaurants (yet) but Pakistani cuisine is a heartening way of portraying our gastronomic zest for all things hot, spicy and meat-infused (to a level that makes Mexican food appear bland), our quirky palates that savour goat paye and nihari—(one imagines that goat’s feet, brain and testicles could also be fused with French cuisine famous for snails and frog’s legs), and our voluptuous, indigenous fruit superior to tropical regions the world over (like the mango family, phalsa berry or falsa, jambul or jamun), along with organic produce that is a fast dying breed in favour of carcinogenic pesticides. Additionally, organic halal meat products could be branded and exported to countries all over the world (if health standards can be met).

Female icons: In this silicone-infused world of ‘reality’ TV stars like Katie Price, Heidi Montag, Kim Kardashian, Shilpa Shetty and Veena Malik, the distinctively glamour-free Ms Mukhtaran Mai is a real-life hero who has done more to uplift the image of strong rural women in Pakistan than anyone in recent history. This lone woman has provided positive inspiration to downtrodden women around the world, whether they can relate to the suffocating folds of tribal ‘justice’ or not, and given a courageous face to standing up to gender violence. Despite receiving international accolades, it seems her image isn’t ‘soft’ enough for Pakistan’s Ministry of Marketing; no medals of valour for her from our government, nor has there been a domestic media campaign among major TV channels celebrating her like they do male cricketers for scoring a few runs.

Philanthropy: From Abdul Sattar Edhi (who runs the largest volunteer ambulance system in the world) to Imran Khan and his high-profile black tie fund raising for cancer (now building the country’s second cancer hospital in Peshawar), and the grassroots efforts of various NGOs to promote health awareness amid social taboos, there is plenty of underutilised fodder here, not just to propel Pakistan’s image from a crooked, self-serving nation to one that cares about its people, but to publicise worthwhile causes while encouraging local and international donors.

Atheletes: Where are Nike/Reebok/Adidas’ sponsorships for our female athletes in cricket, football et al? Sponsorship by multinationals can promote our growing breed of athletes on a regional as well as global scale.

Urdu: Urdlish may be very well as verbal slang but it’s downright annoying when advertising copywriters start using it in a cheesy way. Also, people who can’t speak fluent English ought to speak in Urdu/Punjabi/regional languages and get an interpreter, especially athletes and politicians who end up sounding unimpressive because they are struggling for words and not expressing themselves with confidence. You won’t see any Brazilian footballers or French Presidents speaking in English. Express eloquence in your native tongue.

Creative industries: The facilitation of fine arts and film is essential for growth. Instead of shoestring projects by film school graduates that are either banned from screening here or are documentaries that TV channels don’t buy, try to attract investors and focus on promoting talent instead of being hung up on censorship. Inviting international filmmakers to hold film premieres and hosting large-scale international film festivals would open up a great deal of intercultural and commercial interchange. Invite international co-productions and make it glamorous and safe enough for major studios to shoot Hollywood films here. 

Promote local film facilities for an international community by setting up production and post-production outfits and cut the red tape to get things done. The more backward a country is, the more red tape is involved to carry out the simplest of tasks. Use people’s endless conspiracy theories to write spy thrillers, film crime movies, and promote constructive work that makes the country mysterious and alluring instead of a nation of depressed lunatics. Even the culture of corruption could look more palatable to an international audience if a Bond movie was shot here. TV producers could stop copying Indian soaps and reinvent original genres like in the 80s. Subsidize and promote in-house productions for film, TV, publishing including children’s writers in Urdu and get them translated.  Promote Pakistanis in Hollywood—actors, character actors, producers, writers and comedians.

Teamwork with neighbours: Although it was annoying to be dominated by a much larger country and economy, we miss the days when we were called ‘IndoPak.’ Calling us ‘AfPak’ indicates our downward spiral.

A celebration of subcultures: From remote tribes and religious minorities to the transgendered community, celebrating diversity and aiding representation, expression, and involvement in mainstream media and society says a lot about the country–as does bigotry.

Reverse brain drain: Publicise the success of immigrants and people of Pakistani origin who have excelled in their fields and offer them incentives to return. Expats tend to be fiercely loyal and patriotic, yet refuse to live here and do everything from a safe distance. Let’s give them reasons to move back–ones more lasting than the real estate bubble of the last decade.

Ingenuity and entrepreneurship: The brilliance of scam artists and hackers can be redirected to develop interesting new patented technology, if only they could be recruited.

Tolerance: Nobody wants to visit a country to be bullied or thinks highly of it if it has narrow-minded views.  Promote the rights of minorities even while the rights are being throttled, don’t stop. Encouraging social acceptance and interfaith dialogue within and outside of country would have far reaching positive consequences.

Shopping destination: ‘Branded’ in Pakistan literally means ‘not Chinese.’ Popular local items and brands could be redirected, like lawn could be stylised into beachwear for international markets. An annual shopping festival might encourage tourism from around the country as well as overseas, and should not be on the lines of the typical ‘industrial exhibitions’ at Fortress Stadium of a crusty array of mattresses and mediocre china. Exported styles of leather products, textiles, and home interiors should also be made available locally as an incentive for shoppers.

Preservation: More funding is needed for heritage sites as well as more respect from the public who scribble graffiti on its walls. Endangered animals should be respected, appreciated and protected.

Subtlety in TV news and newspapers: Local media often has an agenda (for example, Fox News is neo-Con). Local news is either anti-government or pro some political party depending on the vested interests of the owners, or in sensationalising horrific imagery without warning that it’s inappropriate for children. Let’s make it at least slightly objective.

Change the definition of education: Being educated is more than being able to scribble your first name. So what if our statistics get lower, they’re a joke anyway.

Humour:  Capitalize on what’s really here and make it quirky and interesting. ‘Sell’ brand Pakistan as a fascinating country. Since Pakistanis have a great sense of humour and the ability to enjoy ourselves, let’s laugh and laugh some more.

Cultural intolerance: No more ‘East’ vs, ‘West’; ‘our culture’ vs. ‘your culture’, ‘Islamic’ vs. ‘unIslamic.’ If it’s here, it’s part of the melting pot. Accept that.

Top 10 requests for Pakistani lawn manufacturers, summer 2011

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/4938/to-lawn-manufacturers-with-love/

To lawn manufacturers, with love

March 18, 2011

Do you really think we believe we’ll look that good when we wear it during scorching, sandal-wearing weather?

1. Not everyone likes florals. Looking like a Laura Ashley bed sheet every day of the summer doesn’t make you more feminine – nor does a smorgasbord of paisleys. Solids are sophisticated but I guess you won’t make these in good quality lawn prints because they last longer. Abstract prints are also great, but you guys never make those aside from Pucci/Missoni ripoffs.
2. Quality is more important than itchy embroidery. Fading colours mean the material is made of poor quality no matter how sparkly the sequin detailing is. Please don’t compromise quality for embellishment – it won’t make me come back for more.
3. Don’t be kanjoos. There should be enough kapra per package for reasonably tall clients – and that means taller than the salesmen. Shortage of cloth means that we’ll either have to buy extra or not buy the piece at all.
4. Stitch it for us. Or better yet, sell ready made outfits in sizes including super skinny, ample hips, maternity/nursing with Velcro, and in denial with sizes written two sizes smaller than they really are.
5. The photoshoots aren’t real. Mini dresses made of lawn with bridal embroidery and stilettos may be creative for a photoshoot but do you really think we are stupid enough to believe we’ll look that good when we wear the lawn during scorching, sandal-wearing weather?
6. Rethink exhibitions. An e-catalog or mail-order catalog (with swatches) for home delivery would be so much better than gettingelbowed by crazy women at an exhibition. I don’t particularly enjoy being disdainfully told by the shopkeeper that I’m two hours too late and only the muddy browns are left.
7. Ever thought of recycling? Come up with a way to recycle last season’s clothes, or distribute them to the needy by offering incentives to clients. Women don’t wear ‘designer’ lawn the next season because it looks outdated. Yes, women are indeed afraid of being told “Oh, isn’t that last season’s lawn print? I gave mine to my maid,” by a catty housewife.
8. Mix and match. Combine colour palettes that can be worn as separates. If we have to run into people wearing the same ‘print’ as ourselves, at least let it be just the kameez or pants and not the entire outfit.
9. Be creative. Your marketing needs to be better - we can’t tell the difference between any of the lawn ads anymore. Think about it: the same two-word brand names, models and poses are staring down at us from every billboard.
10. Stop copying each other. Be original, which is something that can be said for every industry. It’ll add value to your name and will probably inspire more women to trample on each other at the next exhibition.