Crystal-encrusted potato sacks for Eid?

 Several years ago, when I first moved to Islamabad, there were barely any boutiques for buying local or countrywide designer womenswear. Residents pre-planned their shopping, some venturing to Lahore and others braving the darzi route.  Since then, several largish multibrand boutiques thankfully sprung up across the capital, featuring the part-inspired, part-cookie-cutter work of dozens and dozens of designers with similar names who range from trained professionals to bored housewives.

Over the last few seasons, I’ve often found some pretty clothes here and there, so when I ventured out shopping yesterday on the lookout for an Eid-appropriate outfit, I expected to enjoy browsing through clothing racks. Instead, the search was nothing short of a caffeine-deprived nightmare: hideously large crystals on chikan, animal prints with fussy Aunty-style details, and radiant colours made mundane with maternity cuts.  

Now, people pay tens of thousands to look like gift-wrapped mithai boxes on certain occasions (and I’ve voluntarily done it too) but I frankly couldn’t stomach it this time; all I’d wanted was a reasonably chic outfit with clean lines and a flattering cut. Is there anyone else who’s sick of OTT embroidery and sweeping shirts that do the work of jharoos when you walk (not to mention stumbling on the stairs)?

Instead of retail therapy, I experienced retail frustration. Here’s why:

Boxy cuts galore: They say the camera adds 15 lbs but that’s nothing compared with the bulk enhancing cuts that seem to be doing very well judging from their mass production.

Discrepancies in sizes: No, it’s not you’re imagination. You may be a size XS according to one designer’s label and a size XL according to another because designers pretty much use their own bodies (or their Best Gal Pals in the case of male designers) for sizes. So next time it’d frankly be easier to try on clothes designed by someone similar to your body type: petite/Amazonian/lollipop/beanpole/pear-shaped/apple-shaped.

Taking separates to a whole other level: While I’m a big fan of buying separates, the concept also seems to include selling a completely sheer kurta without an accompanying camisole at the price of an entire outfit. It’s a pain trying to match what to wear underneath (and if it has slits, it’s double the bother avoiding the peek-a-boo aspect).  You just end up feeling hot and uncomfortable with all the layering. Why bother!

Pray for better Pret: Disappointing cheaper designer lines may sometimes feature inferior quality and styles, a far cry from their 6-digit couture namesakes.

Ultra-prudish schoolmarm styles: Unnecessarily high necklines and itchingly long sleeves increase one’s suffering in the sweltering heat. Beware when buying so-called ‘sleeveless’ shirts too—some of them have such small, pseudo-conservative armholes that they dig into your underarms.

Unrealistically slinky daytime styles: Seriously, isn’t half the reason you’re buying a kameez so that you can wear it generally anywhere without worrying about flashing too much skin? While it may look cute in a magazine or on the runway, sexily strappy and halter style cotton kameezes are pretty ridiculous for daytime wear and a bizarre no-no for eveningwear where you’d rather dress in something edgier. Confused ‘fusion!’

Hideous crystallized logos: There is no logic to this absolutely cringe-worthy practice of garishly sparkly international designer logos embroidered on the bodices of local ‘designer’ kameezes. Spotted: intertwined Chanel-style C’s in Islamabad and LVs in Lahore…ugh! Seriously, what were they thinking?

Familiar market prints and strips of embroidery: When a price tag’s hefty, why would you want to buy an outfit using material commonly sourced from an ordinary market, not to mention strips of embroidery available at commercial button & ribbon shops and pretty much just stitched on? Even truck-arty and pop-arty styles become to look monotonous after seeing them incessantly in print, broadcast and digital media for the past couple of years. 

Lipstick and foundation smudges: Just when you find an outfit that’s seriously pretty, only to notice residual makeup and whiffs of perfume smeared on its neckline, one cant help but wonder if it’s from the person who tried it on before you or if it’s straight off the sweaty runway.

Power failures and loud generators: Shopping is supposed to be a pleasurable experience where your senses are heightened by upbeat music and a comfortable temperature, prompting you to spend more money. Generators (or a lack of) and bad music help kill the mood.

...If you’re wondering if I found anything,I bought the first outfit I could find with a neckline comfortable enough to breathe in, without an iota of embroidery, and with a cut that didn’t require the quantity of material used to make curtains. 

Follow @laaleen on Twitter and on Facebook at “laaleenspage” https://www.facebook.com/laaleenspage

Run, Katie, RUN!

RUN, KATIE, RUN!

Laaleen Sukhera Khan

It hasn’t been a very happy birthday for A-list Hollywood actor Tom Cruise, aka Thomas Cruise Mapother IV, as he turned half a century in his Beverly Hills mansion while the rest of his country prepared for Fourth of July festivities.

It’s not easy to maintain a straight face, even for an actor, when the world and it’s telephoto lenses are waiting to catch a glimpse of a wretched expression (after discovering one’s spouse has filed for divorce and sole legal custody of one’s beloved  and only biological child). 

And then there’s Katie, who’s become a worn-down shell of her previous Dawson’s Creek-era good looks and playful spirit after marrying the Hollywood posterboy of Scientology. Can’t help feel sorry for both of them despite the $250 million they’re worth together.

Prenup terms: Instead of being entitled to half of everything, Katie will only receive $3 million per year of her marriage to Tom according to the terms of their prenuptial agreement (and it’s been nearly six). Her settlement would probably split up their joint homes between them plus provide her with child support.  Now, if she’d chosen to stay married to Tom for more than 11 yrs, Katie would’ve received half of their $250 mil.  No gold-digger alert here.

Sci-fi schooling: A Roman Catholic originally from the Midwest, Katie never converted to Scientology but attended classes and had a Scientology chaperone.  So it’s not like she hasn’t tried to understand what all the fuss is about. Tom himself was introduced to the faith by his first wife, Mimi Rogers. His adopted kids with second wife Nicole Kidman had been home-schooled and raised as Scientologists.

Cruise control: Tom is considerably older than Katie and seems to be a bit of a control freak, though his attempts to rename his wife ‘Kate Cruise’ flopped. He also seems to have an overwhelmingly romantic side. Although it was kind of cool when he named one of his planes “Kiss me, Kate,” his impassioned trampoline-ing on Oprah’s couch plummeted him to public ridicule and almost cost him his career.

33, the magic number: Tom has had an average of one wife per decade, and they’ve all seemed to have split up when they reached the age of 33: first Mimi, then Nicole and now, Katie. Although Scientologist couples seem to stick together despite shady massages ala Travolta, news reports suggest that Katie ultimately freaked out and filed for divorce and sole legal custody of Suri to prevent her impending enrollment at Sea Org, a lavish, orthodox Scientology boarding school. However, a spokesperson for the institution said that children under eighteen are not permitted, and that the consent of both parents is needed for enrollment. Katie’s father, conveniently a lawyer, is a major source of support to her now, as her her newly appointed aides and bodyguards that have replaced the staff whom Tom appointed for her.

No Oscar buzz for Katie: At the time of TomKat’s initiation, it was said that Tom was on the lookout for a youngish actress to wed and that Keri Russell had been on the list too and refused. Now, while Nicole Kidman’s career had flourished as Mrs. Cruise, Katie’s tanked. She seemed to be taking the wrong kind of advice—from Tom?—and made bad decisions like refusing what would have been her second Batman movie (the iconic Heath Ledger one), appearing in the ridiculous Mad Money, appeared in guest spots on TV and (as her wisest choice in the last few years), a Broadway show. Katie became better known for her acting on the red carpet than on-screen, sometimes appearing robotic, other times morose; sometimes a fashionista, other times a gaunt marathon runner. But something was brewing, for sure, that led her to secretly rent an apartment in New York long enough to file for divorce from the state that prefers sole child custody to California, where joint custody is encouraged.

Sher Shah Suri:  An adorable, six year old, uber celeb Suri Cruise has a million dollar wardrobe and an enviable lifestyle which, according to tabloids, include her getting her own way and throwing tantrums. From high heels and kiddie Starbucks lattes (sans coffee, we hope) and late night dinners out to cupcakes galore, to clutching blankets along bare legs in chilly weather, Suri might be nearing her dad’s height but still gets carried around a lot, especially in Manhattan. She seems very devoted to both parents and, so far, has had no formal schooling other than dance classes with her mom, no bulky winter clothes, and no nanny in sight (at home is another matter). Tall for her age, she has physical similarities to both parents as well as allegedly to the founder of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, according to gossip writers who have claimed that she was his biological daughter via artificial insemination of his 80s-era sperm.  Her parents have completely different notions on how they’d like to raise her and it all centres on the controversial beliefs of Scientology, which Katie never completely adopted, besides bizarrely referring to her daughter as a “woman” in an interview (Scientologists believe in treating children like adults, hence Suri’s late nights out and…lipstick?).

What Katie Did Next: Reports indicated yesterday that Ms. Holmes filed an emergency application in New York, which means a hearing in an open court, accessible to the media and scheduled for July 17^th. Usually, celebs prefer to settle out of court, in privacy. Move over, Dawson. Katie’s playing hardball. As of today, People magazine reports that her lawyer denies this. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20609676,00.html  

Since the divorce announcement, ever-professional Tom has been hard at work filming without even changing his schedule, and Katie looks happier already. But the Battle over Suri has only just begun. And with the paps going nuts over their conspiracy theories, it seems like it could take World War proportions.

Fifty Shades of BS

(Note: This was written on a whim without double checking the terms, expressions and context).

OK—so I haven’t finished reading the first book (it’s my 3^rd attempt, still trying to figure out what all the buzz is about). The protagonist is more klutzy than Bella, more humble than Jane Eyre, and more of a loser than any heroine in history. And of course, she’s naturally beautiful and blissfully unaware of it, can’t walk in heels, is hopeless at shopping and wearing make-up. Yawn.

So just in the first 1/3 of the first book, the author has given herself away multiple times as a Brit trying to write as an American. Fast forward the freaky S&M antics and you get words jumping out at you, like someone’s sitting in London writing as an American to get a bigger readership (oops and that’s just what’s happening--and it worked). 

I don’t write anything mean, but EL James is tremendously successful and, well, it couldn’t hurt for her editor and agent to pay a little more attention when proofreading. 

Here’s where they could start:

• “Studies” (instead of course work)
• “Excellent results” (instead of good grades or scores)
• “I hadn’t reckoned on this” (reckoned!!! Oh C’mon, that’s too easy!)
• “Pj pants”  (seriously?)
• "It’s a lovely day" (again, lovely???!)
• Christian saying “Gotta love Bruce” (Er no one says that, it’s trying way too hard. If anyone did, they'd refer to Springsteen as 'the Boss')
• “Packet” (for package or bag)
• “Dreadful” (here we go again)

Other giveaways: 

• Hyphens (so many regular words are hyphenated for pronunciation, as if they’re stage directions for us to enunciate better)
• Hating American coffee (i.e. her typically Brit side), and liking her English tea “weak” and “black” (as in how Americans incorrectly drink tea as perceived by tea-drinking nations)
• Likes classics in English literature (Anglophile)
• Christian likes Euro soccer (Anglophile even if it isn't called football)

(Don’t worry, EL; I’ve read enough Regencies to feel even more pain when amateurs try to write as Brits and so many Americanisms slip by the editors. And get published. Sigh...). C'mon eds, do your job!

The Royal Glam Squad

The Royal Glam Squad

Laaleen Khan
http://tribune.com.pk/story/338349/the-face-of-contemporary-muslim-royalty/

They’ve got university degrees, promote humanitarian causes and live lives of ample luxury, all in the public eye. These modern-day Arab women, who’ve either married or been born into royalty, also rule the glamour stakes from their influential positions. Their unique styles and strong views have modernized the ‘face’ of contemporary Muslim royalty.

Before these ladies married their princely husbands, it was unheard of for a Moroccan princess to feature prominently in the public sphere, for a Saudi royal to wear dresses that didn’t conceal her shapely calves or her long hair, and for a tweeting Jordanian queen to work with a rock star (i.e. Bono) for a poverty alleviation campaign that put them both on the cover of a prominent magazine. By promoting their wives as royal figureheads, monarchies seem less outdated than in preceding generations. That the Royals spend exorbitant sums on their wardrobes hardly comes as a shock when the Arab world is considered to be the world’s largest consumer of haute couture.  

In Pakistan, it’s not always easy to get away with such varying styles in the public eye. While models and actresses tend to be photographed in relatively daring attire, female politicians (with the exception of Sherry Rehman) are obliged to don dupattas on their heads in public.  A tailored pantsuit or a gown with a dress coat, even if all the right body parts were concealed to meet stringent Islamic requirements, just wouldn’t be culturally acceptable for a Pakistani parliamentarian, first lady or head of state.  

Comparatively, many Middle Eastern women, including expatriate Persians and Afghans, are more inclined to buy into international runway trends (or the high street, depending on their income bracket). For luxe-loving royalty, it’s all about Dior gowns, Gucci pantsuits, Chanel tweeds and Versace cocktail dresses, not to mention custom-made Lebanese couture by Elie Saab, Zuhair Murad and Reem Accra. The saying that women ‘dress to impress other women rather then men’ seems especially true at segregated Saudi wedding events, where ladies leave their abayas at the door and emerge in shimmering designer gowns slit to the thigh with plunging necklines, dripping with jewels the size of pigeon’s eggs. 

Leader of the Couture clan: 

Queen Rania of Jordan, 43, consort to the 50-year-old King Hussein II, is a Palestinian-descent mother of four whose sense of style has catapulted her to the global A-list as an international fashion icon. The queen favours knee length dresses and jackets for her daytime appointments, and gowns for the red carpet, only occasionally donning a caftan. Critics even found her better dressed than Carla Bruni-Sarkozy during the Jordanian visit to Elysees Palace.

The Saudi who could: 

Princess Ameerah Al Taweel, 28, is the fourth (and only current) wife of notable billionaire Prince Al Waleed bin Talal Al Saud, 56. She’s also the first princess in Saudi history in the limelight, much to the dismay of her husband’s uncle, the King. Her ensemble at Britain’s Royal Wedding is among her best couture looks, where she dressed head-to-toe in stunning, custom-made Zuhair Mourad (dress, coat, hat and clutch).

The turban-chic Sheikha: 

Her Highness Sheikha Mozah bint Nasser Al Missned of Qatar, 60, is the second of the three wives of the Emir Of Qatar, Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani, 79, and mother to seven children. She is widely regarded as figuring among the world’s best-dressed women. An avid follower of couture, the Sheikha’s stylish interpretation of the hejab is eminently chic, terribly expensive and a turban, her signature look, has never looked so glamorous as it does on her.

Rocking the caftan Marocain: Princess Lalla Salma of Morocco, 32, consort to King Mohammed VI and mother of two, is the first princess in her country to be publicly acknowledged with a royal title. The flame-haired princess frequently dresses in vivid silk caftans belted at the waist at formal occasions, along with tailored suits and dresses during the day. Her elegant sister-in-law, Princess Meryem, 59, and her attractive daughter, Princess Sukaina, 25, are equally known for their glamorous fashion sensibilities; their caftans at Monaco’s Royal Wedding were the most striking outfits among the dignitaries present.

Pakistani-origin princesses: 

Princess Sarvath El Hassan of Jordan, 64, pairs regal tiaras and tailored dress coats with her traditional saris and counts Rizwan Beyg among her designers of choice. Crown Princess for three decades (before King Hussein changed his choice of successor from Princess Sarvath’s husband to her nephew), the Cambridge-educated, Taekwondo black belt holder has a distinguished Pakistani lineage. Her father, Mohammed Ikramaullah, served as Pakistan’s first Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs and her mother, Begum Shaista Suhrawardy, was one of Pakistan’s first female parliamentarians. Princess Sarvath’s four children include three daughters, all of whom dressed in Pakistani joras on their mehndis as part of their otherwise contemporary Arab weddings. Princess Rahma, 43, Princess Sumaya, 41, and Princess Badiya, 33, sport eclectic styles including pantsuits, dresses, kameezes and caftans. 

Sense before style: In their own words

Princess Badiya is an Oxford graduate and Jordan’s first princess Barrister. 

“We’re very quick to get upset when we’re being treated badly, but I don’t see the same level of protest when Muslims treat non-Muslims badly; for example when Christians are murdered in Iraq or Pakistan, where are the furious demonstrations? And what about when it’s Muslims against Muslims? Where’s the outrage when it comes to non-Arab Sudanese being massacred in Darfur? Where is the outrage about the Sunni-Shi’a bloodbaths? We’re good at complaining when it’s the ‘non-Muslim Westerner’ who we see as being the perpetrator, but we’re very reluctant to take responsibility for ourselves” (in an interview with Emel magazine in 2011)

Princess Ameerah is a Business Administration graduate from the University of New Haven. She is Head of the Executive Committee of the Al-Waleed bin Talal Foundation and has traveled to Pakistan for flood relief efforts. 

“No matter how many great things we do, we’ll always be judged as a country that suppresses women because we’re the only country in the world where women can’t drive….We (Saudi women) are not backwards. We’re not second-class citizens. Maybe the rules are backwards and the policies are backwards, but it’s not us. We’re educated. We’re very much respected in our families. We’re entrepreneurs, businesswomen, social leaders”  (interviewed on The Today Show in 2011).

Queen Rania is a Business Administration graduate from the American University of Cairo and worked at Citibank and Apple before her marriage. She is a prominent humanitarian and plays an active role in UNICEF, the World Economic Forum and the International Youth Foundation. 

“There are 600 million girls shackled by housework or work in factories; many fall victim to early marriage, sexual abuse, HIV. So I push for girls’ education because it works. Girls’ wages can go up by 20 percent for every year of education. Look at any country that’s plagued with poverty, disease or violence; the antidote is girls. Girls are the antibodies to many of society’s ills” (in an interview for Glamour magazine as their 2010 Woman of the Year).

Princess Lalla Salma worked as an IT engineer before her marriage. She founded the Lalla Salma Association against Cancer foundation and is a WHO Goodwill Ambassador. 

“There can be no political or institutional empowerment of women unless their economic, social and cultural rights are promoted, and unless women become part and parcel of the development process” (in a 2009 speech at the Higher Council of Arab Women).

Sheikha Mozah studied Sociology at the University of Qatar. She runs the Qatar Foundation and spearheaded the Al Jazeera Children TV channel and the Qatar Luxury Group. 

"How can we, in all sincerity, talk about women’s political participation in parliaments that are farcical…The truth is there is nothing in our religion to prevent women’s political participation. Women are excluded for the same reasons men are excluded" (in a speech delivered at Rice University in 2007). 

The Oscar Drama Begins: nominations, snubs, predictions & tweets

Predictions, Tweets & Snubs: It’s the Nominations for the 84th Academy Awards!

Laaleen Khan

The Oscars are a time when fans, TV anchors, stylists, live bloggers, tweeters and seat-fillers (the lucky people who sit on celeb’s seats while they’re visiting the bathroom or the bar) satellite around A-list stars in the celluloid constellation known as Hollywood. Die-hard viewers host Oscar parties at home while Hollywood’s B, C and D-listers try to attend as many after-parties as they can (since they’re naturally not invited to most awards shows). It’s fun for all, whether you’re watching the show live at the crack of dawn in Pakistan’s time zone (and heading off bleary-eyed to work), or watching the evening rerun (after spending the day valiantly avoiding internet reports of the winner). The allure of red carpet arrivals, glamorous presenters, the host’s semi-funny jokes, and, of course, watching some of your favourites win the coveted statuettes is an irresistible combination worth spending three hours of your life over (five if you sit through the early arrivals and after-party coverage too, comparable to a cricket match).

Often, a country or culture will dominates several of the categories during any given year of the Academy Awards. Previously, these have included: the New Zealander ‘Lord Of The Rings’ year, the Indian ‘Slumdog Millionnaire’ (even if it was officially British) year, the Italian ‘Life is Beautiful’ year, the Spanish ‘All About My Mother’ year and the essentially British ‘The King’s Speech’ last year. This year, it seems to be France’s turn. ‘The Artist’ has been nominated in 11 major categories except, interestingly, for Foreign Language film.

Then there’s the usual shock nominees (Jonah Hill for ‘Moneyball;’ seriously?), plenty of snubs (see below), and, finally, Pakistani subject matter that has nothing to do with terrorism (unless one calls it domestic terrorism). While ‘Saving Face’ may be criticized locally for portraying the country in a ‘negative’ light (tragically faceless survivors instead of, say, attractive starlets), one can’t help but support the need to address (and remedy) our social realities instead of sweeping them under a rug.

NOMINATION SCORE CARDS: Nominations, Predictions and What-the-heck-were-they-thinking!

Actor in a Leading Role

                  Demián Bichir in "A Better Life"

                  George Clooney in "The Descendants" (POSSIBLY; George is a dumpy, cuckolded husband with a teenaged daughter, now THAT's acting)

                  Jean Dujardin in "The Artist" (PROBABLY; Jean recreates Hollywood glamour with sparkle and charm)

                  Gary Oldman in "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy"

                  Brad Pitt in "Moneyball" (NO WAY IN HELL; Brad would’ve stood a better chance if he made himself fugly in the film)

Actor in a Supporting Role

                  Kenneth Branagh in "My Week with Marilyn" (POSSIBLY; The Academy loves Brits)

                  Jonah Hill in "Moneyball" (NO WAY IN HELL; right?)

                  Nick Nolte in "Warrior"

                  Christopher Plummer in "Beginners" (PROBABLY; Mature actors tend to win their first Oscar on behalf of their entire careers)

                  Max von Sydow in "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"

Actress in a Leading Role

                  Glenn Close in "Albert Nobbs"

                  Viola Davis in "The Help"

                  Rooney Mara in "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" (NO WAY IN HELL; Rooney’s too much of an indie oddball type)

                  Meryl Streep in "The Iron Lady" (PROBABLY; You can’t go wrong with Meryl—she already has two little gold men and this is her 17^th nomination)

                  Michelle Williams in "My Week with Marilyn" (POSSIBLY; the Academy loves biopics and we still feel bad about Heath Ledger)

Actress in a Supporting Role

                  Bérénice Bejo in "The Artist"

                  Jessica Chastain in "The Help" (POSSIBLY; a goodhearted airhead and one of the only non-racist characters in the movie)

                  Melissa McCarthy in "Bridesmaids" (NO WAY IN HELL! Plus-sized women tend to score at awards shows but, really, to win for a screwball comedy rife with toilet humour…these aren’t the ‘Gross’cars!)

                  Janet McTeer in "Albert Nobbs"

                  Octavia Spencer in "The Help" (PROBABLY)

Animated Feature Film

                  "A Cat in Paris" Alain Gagnol and Jean-Loup Felicioli (PROBABLY; It seems to be France’s year after all)

                  "Chico & Rita" Fernando Trueba and Javier Mariscal

                  "Kung Fu Panda 2" Jennifer Yuh Nelson

                  "Puss in Boots" Chris Miller

                  "Rango" Gore Verbinski (POSSIBLY; It’s Johnny Depp’s voice)

Art Direction

                  "The Artist" 
Production Design: Laurence Bennett; Set Decoration: Robert Gould (POSSIBLY; The mise-en-scene is delightful)

                  "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" 
Production Design: Stuart Craig; Set Decoration: Stephenie McMillan

                  "Hugo" 
Production Design: Dante Ferretti; Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo (PROBABLY; A great deal of artistry went in the technicalities)

                  "Midnight in Paris" 
Production Design: Anne Seibel; Set Decoration: Hélène Dubreuil

                  "War Horse" 
Production Design: Rick Carter; Set Decoration: Lee Sandales

Cinematography

                  "The Artist" Guillaume Schiffman

                  "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Jeff Cronenweth

                  "Hugo" Robert Richardson

                  "The Tree of Life" Emmanuel Lubezki (POSSIBLY; Plenty of dreamy imagery in Terence Malick’s film)

                  "War Horse" Janusz Kaminski (PROBABLY; Spielberg’s cinematic tear-jerker in with a war backdrop guarantees pictorial splendour)

Costume Design

                  "Anonymous" Lisy Christl

                  "The Artist" Mark Bridges

                  "Hugo" Sandy Powell

                  "Jane Eyre" Michael O'Connor (POSSIBLY; Hollywood loves adaptations, remakes and Victorian England)

                  "W.E." Arianne Phillips (PROBABLY; For Madonna’s sake!)

Directing

                  "The Artist" Michel Hazanavicius (PROBABLY; Creating a silent, pre-‘Talkie’ world was no easy task)

                  "The Descendants" Alexander Payne (POSSIBLY; Tricky subject matter to direct)

                  "Hugo" Martin Scorsese

                  "Midnight in Paris" Woody Allen

                  "The Tree of Life" Terrence Malick

Documentary (Feature)

                  "Hell and Back Again" 
Danfung Dennis and Mike Lerner

                  "If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front" 
Marshall Curry and Sam Cullman

                  "Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory" 
Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky

                  "Pina" 
Wim Wenders and Gian-Piero Ringel (PROBABLY; It’s also the first 3-D documentary to be nominated)

                  "Undefeated" 
TJ Martin, Dan Lindsay and Richard Middlemas

Documentary (Short Subject)

                  "The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement" 
Robin Fryday and Gail Dolgin

                  "God Is the Bigger Elvis" 
Rebecca Cammisa and Julie Anderson

                  "Incident in New Baghdad" 
James Spione

                  "Saving Face" 
Daniel Junge and Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy (WE HOPE SO!)

                  "The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom" 
Lucy Walker and Kira Carstensen

Film Editing

                  "The Artist" Anne-Sophie Bion and Michel Hazanavicius

                  "The Descendants" Kevin Tent

                  "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall (PROBABLY; It’s has that rare combination of a fast pace and critical acclaim, so it’s likely to win something)

                  "Hugo" Thelma Schoonmaker

                  "Moneyball" Christopher Tellefsen

Foreign Language Film

                  "Bullhead" Belgium

                  "Footnote" Israel

                  "In Darkness" Poland

                  "Monsieur Lazhar" Canada

                  "A Separation" Iran (PROBABLY; This Golden Globe winner is also Iran’s second nomination in this category to date)

Makeup

                  "Albert Nobbs"
Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnston and Matthew W. Mungle (POSSIBLY; Glenn Close as a creepy dude required subtle makeup)

                  "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" 
Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight and Lisa Tomblin

                  "The Iron Lady" 
Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland (PROBABLY; Meryl Streep’s convincing makeover as Maggie Thatcher owed something to the makeup department)

Music (Original Score)

                  "The Adventures of Tintin" John Williams

                  "The Artist" Ludovic Bource (PROBABLY; It’s a mostly silent film so music played a primary role in the narrative)

                  "Hugo" Howard Shore

                  "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" Alberto Iglesias

                  "War Horse" John Williams

Music (Original Song)

                  "Man or Muppet" from "The Muppets"
Music and Lyric by Bret McKenzie (PROBABLY; And with two nominations in this category instead of the typical five, the Oscars might even end on time for once with fewer musical performances)

                  "Real in Rio" from "Rio"
Music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown; Lyric by Siedah Garrett

Best Picture

                  "The Artist" Thomas Langmann, Producer (PROBABLY)

                  "The Descendants" Jim Burke, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor, Producers (POSSIBLY)

                  "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" Scott Rudin, Producer

                  "The Help" Brunson Green, Chris Columbus and Michael Barnathan, Producers

                  "Hugo" Graham King and Martin Scorsese, Producers (POSSIBLY)

                  "Midnight in Paris" Letty Aronson and Stephen Tenenbaum, Producers

                  "Moneyball" Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz and Brad Pitt, Producers

                  "The Tree of Life" Nominees to be determined

                  "War Horse" Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, Producers (their 7^th nomination as Producers)

Short Film (Animated)

                  "Dimanche/Sunday" Patrick Doyon

                  "The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore" William Joyce and Brandon Oldenburg

                  "La Luna" Enrico Casarosa

                  "A Morning Stroll" Grant Orchard and Sue Goffe

                  "Wild Life" Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby

Short Film (Live Action)

                  "Pentecost" Peter McDonald and Eimear O'Kane

                  "Raju" Max Zähle and Stefan Gieren

                  "The Shore" Terry George and Oorlagh George

                  "Time Freak" Andrew Bowler and Gigi Causey

                  "Tuba Atlantic" Hallvar Witzø

Sound Editing

                  "Drive" Lon Bender and Victor Ray Ennis

                  "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Ren Klyce

                  "Hugo" Philip Stockton and Eugene Gearty

                  "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" Ethan Van der Ryn and Erik Aadahl

                  "War Horse" Richard Hymns and Gary Rydstrom (PROBABLY; It’s gotta win something)

Sound Mixing

                  "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" 
David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Bo Persson

                  "Hugo" 
Tom Fleischman and John Midgley

                  "Moneyball" 
Deb Adair, Ron Bochar, Dave Giammarco and Ed Novick

                  "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" 
Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush and Peter J. Devlin (PROBABLY; High-grossing action flicks often get lucky in sound categories)

                  "War Horse" 
Gary Rydstrom, Andy Nelson, Tom Johnson and Stuart Wilson

Visual Effects

                  "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" 
Tim Burke, David Vickery, Greg Butler and John Richardson (POSSIBLY; If only to say goodbye to Potter)

                  "Hugo" 
Rob Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossman and Alex Henning (PROBABLY; The films has astounding aesthetics)

                  "Real Steel" 
Erik Nash, John Rosengrant, Dan Taylor and Swen Gillberg

                  "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" 
Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, R. Christopher White and Daniel Barrett

                  "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" 
Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Matthew Butler and John Frazier

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

                  "The Descendants" Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash (PROBABLY; The film’s premise and storyline are a critical success)

                  "Hugo" Screenplay by John Logan

                  "The Ides of March" Screenplay by George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon (POSSIBLY; Clooney proves to be as adept a writer as he is an actor and director)

                  "Moneyball" Screenplay by Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin; Story by Stan Chervin

                  "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" Screenplay by Bridget O'Connor & Peter Straughan

Writing (Original Screenplay)

                  "The Artist" Written by Michel Hazanavicius (PROBABLY; It’s an original, and it’s definitely tricky to ‘write’ a ‘silent’ script)

                  "Bridesmaids" Written by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig (NO WAY IN HELL! Right?)

                  "Margin Call" Written by J.C. Chandor

                  "Midnight in Paris" Written by Woody Allen

                  "A Separation" Written by Asghar Farhadi (POSSIBLY; It’s the first Farsi screenplay to ever be nominated)

SNUB-O-RAMA: And the year’s biggest snubs went to…

Leading men:

·      Leo di Caprio (snubbed, yet again, but he’s used to it now. After three nominations, he still hasn’t taken home a little gold man, just models);

·      Michael Fassbender (was his full frontal nudity in ‘Shame’ too much for the Academy to endure?);

·      Ryan Gosling (aka ‘the hipster’s hipster’ for ‘The Ides of March’ and ‘Drive’);

·      Antonio Banderas (for ‘Puss in Boots’…joking! For his performance in ‘The Skin I Live In’).

Leading ladies:

·      Kristen Dunst (she won Best Actress at Cannes for her morose sci-fi film, ‘Melancholia’);

·      Elizabeth Olsen (indie darling and breakout star of ‘Martha Macy May’ and sister of the most annoying twins in the world)

·      Charlize Theron, Kate Winslet, Natalie Portman, Tilda Swinton and Hilary Swank (for…well, anything they ever star in, especially if their characters are depraved, unattractive and/or insane. Jilted by the Academy this time!)

Supporting actors:

·      Uggie (for his convincing canine portrayal in ‘The Artist’…just kidding!)

Madonna, Madonna, Madonna:

·      ‘W.E.’ looks visually arresting but there are way too many liberties taken with reality to lure the Academy (Wallis wasn’t a Nazi sympathizer? Really?). But the film stands a good chance in its sole nomination, for Costume Design.

In the Land of Blood and Money:

·      The Academy didn’t nominate Angie’s Bosnian ‘In The Land of Blood and Honey’ in the Foreign Language category. Never mind, she’ll still be smiling on Brad’s arm after winning the Stanley Kramer Award at the recent PGAs.

TWEET FEST: A selection of Twitter’s most (and least) chirpy…

·      Touching tweet (she’s nominated for Documentary—Short Subject):

@sharmeenochinoy: “The day I received an Emmy my father died- had to turn around & go 2 airport- Tday I'm sure hes smiling down! #oscars #SavingFace”

·      Euphoric tweet (the ‘How I Met Your Mother’ TV star’s song for ‘The Muppets’ is nominated for Music—Original Song):

@jasonsegel: “Holy Moly! Man or Muppet was nominated for a best song Oscar! Congrats to Bret McKenzie and the whole Muppet team!!! So happy for everyone!” 

·      Sore (no music nomination for R&B singer Mary J. Blige’s song from ‘The Help’):

@maryjblige: “I'm so thankful for true fans like you all. It saddens me & feels like the Academy is being mean. 2 only nominate 2 of the 5 slots is.......”

·      Sarcastic (no acting nomination for Albert Brooks’ critically acclaimed ‘Drive’):

@albertbrooks: “Looking forward to the State of the Union tonight. Hope the new Axis of Evil includes Hollywood.”

ADDITIONAL INFO: From Oscars.org’s official press kit

·      Nominations ballots were mailed to the 5,783 voting members in late December and were returned directly to PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC), the international accounting firm, for tabulation.

·      Official screenings of all motion pictures with one or more nominations will begin for members this weekend at the Academy's Samuel Goldwyn Theater. Screenings also will be held at the Academy's Linwood Dunn Theater in Hollywood and in London, New York and the San Francisco Bay Area.

·      All active and life members of the Academy are eligible to select the winners in all categories, although in five of them – Animated Short Film, Live Action Short Film, Documentary Feature, Documentary Short Subject and Foreign Language Film – members can vote only if they have seen all of the nominated films in those categories.

·      Academy Awards for outstanding film achievements of 2011 will be presented on Sunday, February 26, 2012, at the Kodak Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center®, and televised live by the ABC Television Network beginning at 4 p.m. PT/7 p.m. ET (that’s 5 a.m. in Pakistan time on February 27).  The Oscar presentation also will be televised live in more than 225 countries worldwide.