Doting on Downton

Ten Reasons to Dote on Downton

Laaleen Khan

If you aren’t (yet) a Downton Abbey fan, you might be surprised to learn that this award-winning ITV television series (link: http://www.itv.com/downtonabbey/ ), set in Edwardian England, has the “highest critical review ratings for a TV show” in history (a 92% Metacritic score) in the 2012 Guinness World Records (link: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8762842/Guinness-Book-of-Records-Downton-Abbey-is-most-critically-acclaimed-show-on-television.html ). For Downton’s fans, this doesn’t come as a surprise; in an era when popular international TV programming revolves around reality trash, soap opera mush, formulaic sitcoms, and dramas that tie up all loose ends within 40 minutes, it’s doubly delightful to savour the lush details and nuances of a well executed period piece, even if you aren’t a sucker for costume drama.

How is this relevant for a Pakistani audience, one might wonder. Well, Britain’s American cousins across the pond, who co-produced the series (PBS’ Masterpiece Theater), may share commonalities with the Brits, like sharing English, Scottish and Irish ancestors and names (with the exception of Nigel—doubt there’s an American with that name), but they spell differently (airplane, color, grey), pronounce differently (vase, vitamin, dynasty) are educated differently (don’t know what A levels and IGCSEs are) and are very easily impressed by accents (a Cockney accent sounds like the Queen’s English to some American ears). In Pakistan, on the other hand, many of us and our mothers and our grandmothers grew up on Enid Blyton and Georgette Heyer, speak in post-colonial British accents peppered with ludicrous catch-phrases (link: http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/7550/10-assorted-additions-to-pakistani-culture/ ), still employ ‘servants,’ lead lives like a Jane Austen novel with a society that still revolves around marriage (link: http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/7437/10-rules-to-marry-a-clooney-aire/ ), drawing room gossip and drinking tea, and, not to forget, still live in ‘mansions’ (link: http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/5752/media-madness-revisiting-osamas-fortress-mansion/ ) with our entire families. So, yes, there’s more relevance for us here than meets the eye, as well as the following ten reasons for tuning into Downton Abbey:

10. The sky-high production values: the £1 million spent on each episode ensures a rich visual reflection of Edwardian England with painstaking attention to detail.

9. The fun fashions: recycled vintage and specially costumed gowns, hats, jewels, and suits; formal attire for dinner each night—even the servants have impeccable livery. Enough said.

8. The memorable musical score: the haunting melody that marks the introductory credits is a superb rendition of emotive, historical romance.

7. The disparity between genders: it’s interesting to note the similarities between some of our societal customs with those of the Edwardian era, where gender bias was prevalent (such as the inheritance of Downton Abbey being entailed away from the female line and where single ladies are “stuck in a waiting room until we get married,” as Lady Mary puts it).

6. The perfectly trained domestic staff: can you imagine having everything cleaned and perfect by the time you wake up? Sigh…!

5. Mr. Kemal Pamuk: the smouldering Turkish diplomat in Season 1 makes for essential eye candy. Oddly enough, Mr. Bates the valet is also considered ‘sexy’ by UK viewers! (link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2038106/DOWNTON-ABBEY-SPECIAL-Brendan-Coyle-plays-Mr-Bates-available.html ). 

4. The democratic characterisations despite the class system: while upper class appearances, middle class respectability, and lower class subservience is accurately conveyed, viewers are as interested in the elegant Lady Mary’s romantic interests as they are in the burgeoning romance between the likable housemaid Anna and the worthy Mr. Bates, valet to Lord Grantham). In other words, we care as much about the aristocrats’ personal lives as we do those of their servants.

3. The sisterly bitchiness: the three Crawley sisters (particularly Lady Mary and Lady Edith) have a ruthless, competitive streak with one another. There’s no vapid, wide-eyed heroine in this series; even their sweeter sister, Lady Sybil, hoodwinks her parents.

2. The exemplary humour: Julian Fellowe’s exmplary wit is rendered even more brilliant with Maggie Smith’s dialogue delivery as the formidable Dowager Countess of Grantham.  An example:

Lady Grantham (the snobbish Dowager): “You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.”

Mrs Crawley (her middle class relative): “I take that as a compliment.”

Lady Grantham: “I must have said it wrong.”

1. The spectacular Highclere Castle: home to the Earls of Carnavron, Highclere is the actual location that depicts the exterior and (upstairs) interior of Downton Abbey (the below-stairs segments are filmed at Ealing Studios) and has taken a life of it’s own (regarded as being the finest occupied Victorian castle in England). 

SPOOF: Lonely Planet's Pakistan Travel Guide

sad planet

Presents

Pakistan Travel Guide

“The Most Exciting Country In The World”--Newsweak

Written by clueless boho backpackers

(Note: This is a satiric depiction spoofing Lonely Planet’s guide to Pakistan. Content is fictitious and meant for entertainment purposes only).

Pakistan is an intoxicating mix of contradictory elements, wonderful double standards and razor sharp narrow mindedness blended with ostentatious liberalism, from its feudal roots to its populous cities, amid a backdrop of delightful traditions. Whether you get on a rollicking mini-bus or wagon ride hanging for dear life whilst taking in the dubious essence of your fellow commuters, or commute the lethargic Pakistani way by hiring a non-uniformed driver who doesn’t show up on time and has to attend family weddings and funerals on a weekly basis, do not miss this opportunity to experience the land of gassy buffaloes, wild marijuana, electricity that comes and goes faster than a disco strobe, and wonderfully hospitable people who pretend they haven’t met you the next day.

·      50 detailed and easy-to-use maps provided by the Eye S Eye that include the entire Indian province of Kashmir as part of Pakistan

·      Bonus activities chapter details the best khokas for experiencing tempting, food-poisoning-is-worth-it roadside snacks, the water sport festival at Lahore’s canal bank and D.I.Y. mehndi dance choreography to impress your friends back home

·      Full-colour sections of Pakistan’s highlights and best nightlife including a guide to which parties to crash

·      Special section on Pakistan’s biggest society events that require metal detectors

·      Tips for finding the best accommodation for people watching in Pakistan

Life's a blast in Pakistan!

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/7132/pakistan-where-life-can-be-a-blast/

Deflating Pakistan’s ‘soft’ image and pumping out a tourism slogan

Laaleen Khan

The ‘enlightened moderation’ mantra of the Musharraf era prompted Pakistan’s oft-quoted ‘soft image.’ Seen as a much-needed leap beyond archetypal vistas of K-2 and the Lahore Fort (think 1970s photographs issued by PIA and the Ministry of Tourism), well-meant consultants were hired for the purpose of promoting a progressive image for the country—or at least, that’s what the aim was in flying out designers and models to put on fashion shows at Pakistani Consulates around the world. One can almost imagine spectators gawking, “Gosh, they have women in their country who don’t wear a burkha and aren’t getting stoned for modeling?” Er…yeah.


The Jolie Effect:

Even the glamour of Hollywood was meant to echo our new liberality, not by inviting big budget productions (A Mighty Heart, Angelina Jolie’s biopic on the Daniel Pearl killing, was filmed in India after being denied in Pakistan), but by maximizing on Ms. Jolie’s UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador duties in Pakistan. Angie’s tasks here have invariably involved shaking hands and posing for a lot of photographs with government officials and their extended families, in between her worthy visits to refugee camps. Here, one can imagine readers’ surprise, “look how excited Pakistanian officials are to meet Angelina!”

Unsurprisingly, neither Pakistani bridal couture nor Ms. Jolie’s formal sit downs with Pakistani heads of state from the last few administrations have succeeded in dispelling our international personification as a nation of angry, bearded men in puffy white shalwar kameezes who have fan posters of Al Qayda and the Tally-ban on their bedroom walls.  


A 'Soft Image?'
In terms of photography, a ‘soft image’ refers to a blurry, out-of-focus projection of reality that’s more pleasing to the viewer in that it’s flattering and softens the edges, like on soap operas or fairness-cream advertisements. However, in this age of real-time Twitter, Facebook and citizen journalism, it’s not so easy pull to wool over people’s eyes because audiences want the real deal, not its Photoshopped version. For example, India’s yoga-ashram-kamasutra exoticism and kitsch song-and-dance culture is heavily promoted by both its Tourism Ministry’s advertising gurus (‘Incredible !ndia’),  Bollywood flicks and schmaltzy Hollywood movies like ‘Eat Pray Love’, but it takes one British Slumdog Millionaire to remind the world of the dismal urban realities of modern-day India (to the dismay of Mr. Bachchan Sr. and other promoters of celluloid lifestyles consisting of choreographed dancing and sequined outfits).

Tourism slogans
Back to our side of the border, there’s nothing heartwarming, nor glamorous, nor tourist-friendly to be called The World’s Most Dangerous Country by Newsweek (which we hotly denied at the time but then acceded with a shrug) and so many other things since then (we’ve lost count). Now, Malaysia (‘Truly Asia’) is a Muslim country where both tourists and locals can enjoy themselves without being ogled, whether it’s swimming at a beach, watching a concert, going dancing at a club or sipping a martini at a bar. Locals either join in or look the other way. The same goes for the UAE (‘Nowhere Like Dubai’), Indonesia (‘Wonderful Indonesia’), Turkey (‘A Never Ending Tale’), the Maldives (‘Sunny Side of Life’), Morocco (‘The Most Beautiful Country in the World’), Egypt (‘Where It All Begins’), Jordan (‘Takes You Beyond’/’Explore The Hidden Treasure’), and many other Muslim countries which have a strong influx of tourism dollars despite potential civil unrest and a strong, positive brand identity in the world…something we desperately need, if only we would take a pragmatic approach to our fledgling tourism industry.

Now that we’ve established our dire need for an image overhaul and a tourism slogan (and ‘Soft Image’ and ‘Visit Pakistan’ are NOT slogans), how about some new taglines for discerning visitors:

·      Where Life Can Be A Blast (dark humour)

·      Destination Pakistan

·      We (Heart) Pakistan (for our die-hard expats who buy out PIA)

·      Fab Pakistan (i.e. the cooler side of Pakistan beyond tired, old stereotypes)

·      Grow With Pakistan (investors, this means you)

·      Authentically Pakistan

·      Purely Pakistan

·      A Cultural Paradise

·      An Experience Like No Other

·      Fascinating Pakistan

·      Rich in History, Warm in Hospitality (awww)

SPOOF: Giggle news search results for Pakistan (satire)...because laughter is the best medicine

Giggle News Search Results for Pakistan

Laaleen Khan

Have you ever wondered how people would react if Google turned into one big spoof for a day, like The Onion http://www.theonion.com/ , Roznama Jawani http://www.roznamajawani.com/ or Maila Times http://mailatimes.com/ ? While satirical items create laughter and raise eyebrows, they invariably also cause earnest minded readers to gape and completely fail to identify the irony, hence the reason for this disclaimer:

Warning: if you think self-deprecating humour is unpatriotic, please do not continue reading.

Here is a Giggle News search result for “Pakistan:”

Brown is the New Black: South Asians breaking into mainstream Hollywood

South Asians in Hollywood: From fringe to mainstream

By Laaleen Khan

Published: July 6, 2011

http://tribune.com.pk/story/203704/south-asians-in-hollywood-from-fringe-to-mainstream/

ISLAMABAD: 

It seems that brown is the new black, and there’s no going back! The fast-growing South Asian-American demographic has led to some major changes in Hollywood studios. Motion pictures, sitcoms and TV dramas that started off featuring requisite African American, Hispanic and Asia-Pacific characters to represent diversity now also feature desis as bit part extras, token sidekicks, or prominent protagonists, not counting the production crew behind the scenes.

This is a significant leap for the Indo-Pak talent pool that’s been trying to break into the mainstream entertainment world, struggling to pay the bills while working in indie (independent) films on a shoestring budget.

Although there are several Hollywood heavyweights of South Asian ancestry working behind the scenes (M Night Shyamalan — born Manoj Nelliyatu Shyamalan, Tariq Anwar, Shekhar Kapur and Mira Nair), casting South Asians in mainstream Anglo-Hollywood projects has traditionally been limi-ted to projects set in the British Raj (Art Malik and Zia Mohyeddin), or with a backdrop of Third World squalor (Shabana Azmi and Om Puri), and even in soap operas, cast as randy Arab sheikhs (Kabir Bedi). Things have now changed, however; while actor Kal Penn (born Kalpen Suresh Modi) played teenaged Iranian-American terrorist Amer Ahmed on “24”, he also had the plum comedic role of Kumar in the Harold & Kumar films (the third instalment is out next Christmas).

It’s also likely that more and more desis are choosing film and theatre degrees as an alternative to traditional academic choices like medical, business, IT and law degrees. As a result, Hollywood’s new Indo-Pak breed is an eclectic group of trained, talented professionals whose craft humanises otherwise one-dimensional portrayals of South Asians as either insane terrorists in dram-atic features or goofy con-venience store clerks with an appalling accent in ensemble comedies (like Apu Nahasapeemapetilan on “The Simpsons”, as voiced by Hank Azaria). Although there are still plenty of computer geek and doctor parts for mocha-hued actors in mainstream Hollywood, they are now part of a wider spectrum of characterisations that include: The lovelorn co-worker (Kelly Kapoor, as played by Mindy Kaling, born Vera Chokalingam, in “The Office”); the geeky friend/colleague (Kunal Nayyar plays Raj Koothrappali on “Big Bang Theory” and Vik Sahey plays Lester Patel on “Chuck”); the boisterous college student (Kal Penn as Taj in Van Wilder 1 and 2); the rich playboy (Anil Kapoor as Brij Nath in Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol); the cancer-stricken surfer dude (Manish Dayal is Raj Kher on “90210”); the savvy British Asian doctor (Parminder Nagra as Dr Neela Rasgotra on “ER” and Reshma Shetty as Divya Katdare on “Royal Pains”); the pendu-but-likable Pakistani exchange student (Adhir Kalyan plays Raja on “Aliens in America”); the thwarted ex (Noureen DeWulf plays Melanie in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past); the attractive mathematician (Navi Rawat plays Amita Ramanujan on “Numb3rs”); the forbidden love interest (Bipasha Bashu is Tulaja Naik inSingularity); and the refreshingly non-Muslim comic-book villain (Irrfan Khan as Nels van Adder/Proto-Goblin in the upcoming The Amazing Spider Man).

In fact, actors with South Asian ancestry, including biracial ethnicities, are even getting cast for parts that could have been written for Caucasians, Hispanics or Italians: Aasif Mandwi played neurotic literary editor Bob Spaulding in Sandra Bullock’s The Proposal; Kal Penn was Dr Lawrence Kutner on “House MD”; Aziz Ansari  played Eugene in I Love You Man, Matty in Get Him to the Greek, and the hilarious Tom Haverford in “Parks and Recreation”; Aishwariya Rai Bachchan was cast as the feisty Mira in The Last Legion and Sonia Solandres in Pink Panther 2; Rhona Mitra’s savvy lawyer Tara Wilson moved from “The Practice” to “Boston Legal”; and Janina Gavankar, who played the Eva Torres in “The L Word”, is “True Blood’s” latest shape shifter in the form of Luna Garza.

International crossovers, between commercial Bollywood, the indie film festival circuit and mainstream Hollywood, create a more sophisticated global audience which appreciates — and expects — multiculturalism on screen as well as behind the camera.

Published in The Express Tribune, July 7^th, 2011.

On being South Asian in Hollywood:

“People who aren’t ethnic are just actors. There are not ‘white actors.’ Why do we have to be Indian actors? Why do we have to be Asian actors? Why do we have to be black actors? Why can’t we all just be actors? I’m just trying to be good at what I do, and it should be good enough...We are the generation who has been living a double-life — we’re doctors, lawyers, engineers, but we’re also artists. I think the next generation is going to be able to show their parents that this is an honorable profession and you can actually make a living. It’s really, really hard, but it is still worthy of a life, if you are dedicated to it.” Janina Gavankar (True Blood)

“The Indian parts that I’ve played, like in ‘The English Patient’ or ‘Kama Sutra,’ are parts that white people would have given their left arm to be able to play. That said, it’s always refreshing when something like “Easy” comes up where how it’s written in the script has nothing to do with India or race or color or any of that s**t...I think one of the reasons why I was pleased to do it (Bride and Prejudice) is because it’s one of those rare times where things aren’t defined by race or anything as boring as that…And obviously I’m talking to you now…not like the geezer on ‘The Simpsons.’” Naveen Andrews (Lost)

“There’s always been opportunity for me. If the role calls for a forty-something cabbie that doesn’t speak English, I’ll probably get a call, you know? But I get to make a living doing what I love, so it’s great.”  Iqbal Theba (Glee)

“It’s always difficult for any actor to break out of ‘type’ and ‘typecasting,’ and especially when you first start out, the first few years are particularly rough. I have been fortunate in my opportunities, and have now in the last 2 years, finally been able to work with amazing directors, writers, and producers who truly think outside the box. But it’s always an uphill battle trying to convince someone that you’re right for a role that they may have envisioned differently. Hopefully that continues to change for the better -- I think it’ll ultimately provide more equal opportunities, and better products for audiences.” Kal Penn (House)